9 Surprising Things Men Look For in a Wife

When #whoeverImarry starting trending on Twitter, we expected to read a lot of tweets from women sharing their laundry lists for a future husband. And we did. But we also noticed a hell of a lot of dudes sharing their thoughts on what makes a woman wifey material.
We rounded up the ones that jumped out at us—either because they were sweet, ridiculous, or just prime examples of male dumbassery—and put them below.

Whoever I marry...

"...gotta have some big boobs and can't where panties. So if that ain't you sorry. You're not eligable." —@JuiCyIsMyBOSS (We're guessing bad spelling isn't a dealbreaker for him, though.)





The models photographed in Cosmo are used for illustrative purposes only; Cosmopolitan does not suggest that the models actually engage in the conduct discussed in the stories they illustrate.

Read more: What Men Want in a Wife - Whoever I Marry Twitter Trending Topic - Cosmopolitan

 

Read more: What Men Want in a Wife - Whoever I Marry Twitter Trending Topic - Cosmopolitan

9 Surprising Things Men Look For in a Wife

When #whoeverImarry starting trending on Twitter, we expected to read a lot of tweets from women sharing their laundry lists for a future husband. And we did. But we also noticed a hell of a lot of dudes sharing their thoughts on what makes a woman wifey material.
We rounded up the ones that jumped out at us—either because they were sweet, ridiculous, or just prime examples of male dumbassery—and put them below.

Whoever I marry...

"...gotta have some big boobs and can't where panties. So if that ain't you sorry. You're not eligable." —@JuiCyIsMyBOSS (We're guessing bad spelling isn't a dealbreaker for him, though.)





The models photographed in Cosmo are used for illustrative purposes only; Cosmopolitan does not suggest that the models actually engage in the conduct discussed in the stories they illustrate.

Read more: What Men Want in a Wife - Whoever I Marry Twitter Trending Topic - Cosmopolitan

 

Read more: What Men Want in a Wife - Whoever I Marry Twitter Trending Topic - Cosmopolitan

6 Tips For Starting A New Relationship

One of the things that always surprises me is how relationships can happen out of the blue.  As a curmudgeon who often goes like a surly camel through dating dry spells of three to four years, each time a relationship crashes and burns, I think it will be my last.  But life always seems to throw a curveball and the next thing I know I'm smack dab in the middle of something I would never have expected even last week.
With the last few relationships I've been in, there have been a lot of don'ts and a few dos I've used to keep fragile new relationships from bursting into flame and spiralling into the equally incendiary dumpster of love.

• Do treat your new relationship as something you will need to earn completely, and patiently maintain.  Forcing a convenient relationship over the framework of one more based on consideration, appreciation and spontaneity kills a lot of the romance and weakens its lifespan.
• Don't mention your ex(es) excessively.  Constantly bringing up someone you no longer (should) care for can undermine what you are trying to establish with your new partner.  While it's inevitable that you'll mention a formerly loved one in passing, there's little point in dragging him or her out of the past to wave around like a stinky swamp fish on every occasion.
• Do let things slide a little.  Your partner isn't perfect, and neither of you should have to expect the other to be.  If you are putting your partner through a lot of stress to keep a home in immaculate condition 24/7, or having him or her drive long distances in order to get together, the tension he or she feels can often come to a boiling point in just a few poor choices of words, and the result can often be sullen anger or exasperated tears.
• Don't let your personal standards down over time.  Think about the things you do before you meet someone for the first time.  How much extra time and effort do you put in compared to when you're just going through the motions?  Though you don't have to pluck every eyebrow hair every day, your partner will still likely appreciate your taking a shower before coming over, or being considerate when you share a common task.
• Do realize you don't have to date your ex again.  It's true that you may have done some bad things in a past relationship, but you're not fated to enact them again.  You don't need to explain what you're being careful to avoid; just let your past relationship lie and let the only things to come from it be unspoken ways to treat your new partner well.
• Don't set expectations you can't keep up.  If you don't like to stay up late and your partner does, don't keep showing up late in the expectations you'll be able to watch a movie together with your eyes plastered open.  If you shouldn't drive over every night because it's 20 miles and your car is a block of Swiss cheese, make it plain that you can't.  Otherwise you won't be in a romantic mood and you'll be wondering why you're even there.  If someone wants to be with you enough, s/he will accept what you are only willing and able to offer.

6 Tips For Starting A New Relationship

One of the things that always surprises me is how relationships can happen out of the blue.  As a curmudgeon who often goes like a surly camel through dating dry spells of three to four years, each time a relationship crashes and burns, I think it will be my last.  But life always seems to throw a curveball and the next thing I know I'm smack dab in the middle of something I would never have expected even last week.
With the last few relationships I've been in, there have been a lot of don'ts and a few dos I've used to keep fragile new relationships from bursting into flame and spiralling into the equally incendiary dumpster of love.

• Do treat your new relationship as something you will need to earn completely, and patiently maintain.  Forcing a convenient relationship over the framework of one more based on consideration, appreciation and spontaneity kills a lot of the romance and weakens its lifespan.
• Don't mention your ex(es) excessively.  Constantly bringing up someone you no longer (should) care for can undermine what you are trying to establish with your new partner.  While it's inevitable that you'll mention a formerly loved one in passing, there's little point in dragging him or her out of the past to wave around like a stinky swamp fish on every occasion.
• Do let things slide a little.  Your partner isn't perfect, and neither of you should have to expect the other to be.  If you are putting your partner through a lot of stress to keep a home in immaculate condition 24/7, or having him or her drive long distances in order to get together, the tension he or she feels can often come to a boiling point in just a few poor choices of words, and the result can often be sullen anger or exasperated tears.
• Don't let your personal standards down over time.  Think about the things you do before you meet someone for the first time.  How much extra time and effort do you put in compared to when you're just going through the motions?  Though you don't have to pluck every eyebrow hair every day, your partner will still likely appreciate your taking a shower before coming over, or being considerate when you share a common task.
• Do realize you don't have to date your ex again.  It's true that you may have done some bad things in a past relationship, but you're not fated to enact them again.  You don't need to explain what you're being careful to avoid; just let your past relationship lie and let the only things to come from it be unspoken ways to treat your new partner well.
• Don't set expectations you can't keep up.  If you don't like to stay up late and your partner does, don't keep showing up late in the expectations you'll be able to watch a movie together with your eyes plastered open.  If you shouldn't drive over every night because it's 20 miles and your car is a block of Swiss cheese, make it plain that you can't.  Otherwise you won't be in a romantic mood and you'll be wondering why you're even there.  If someone wants to be with you enough, s/he will accept what you are only willing and able to offer.

How to Find a Good Woman

I am here to help...

 I have heard my guy friends talk about how they can't find a good woman.  The truth is, they are not looking in the right places and they are not being true to themselves.  A relationship is a "give and take" situation.  You have to think about what you are willing to give and what you want out of a relationship to make it work.  As much as I hate to say it.... a lot of times what you see is what you get.  This is true with guys and women.  If you are a guy who likes big fake boobs and bleached blond hair, that may the extent of what you get.  Remember, keeping your woman augmented is not cheap, so if you can afford to keep a nipped, tucked, and chisled woman by your side, I say go for it.  If you are looking for a woman who will love you, be loyal, and stand by you through thick and thin, then continue reading.
First of all, getting laid and finding a good girlfriend are two different things.  If you go to a bar, find the drunkest, hottest chick in the place, this is probably not going to be your soulmate.  I know it sounds simple, but simplicity is the essence of truth.  I have a few bullet points for you guys.

• First of all, be yourself.  Don't use your "phone voice".  Don't try to sell yourself.  Women can see right past that.  Don't tell her your life story in the first ten minutes of conversation.  These things aren't natural and seem really un-natural.  Now, don't go overboard and start farting and scratching yourself either.  I am sure I didn't have to mention that last part, but you never know.  I guess the most important thing I have to say in this bullet is for you not to try to sound sincere.  If you are making an effort to sound sincere, you do not sound sincere.
• Don't boast!  This is the biggest turn off in the world.  If you drive an Aston Martin, don't walk up and tell the woman you drive an Aston Martin.  That is the lamest thing in the world.  It seems desperate.  Don't tell her all of the prospects you have lined up.  The more you boast, the more she thinks you probably live in your mom's basement.
• Don't lie!  If you plan on spending any more time with this woman, please be a honest as possible.  Lies, even small ones, destroy relationships.  Don't tell her you have a house in the Hamptons if you don't.  She may expect you to take her there one day.  If she finds out you lied, about anything, she will wonder how many lies you have told her and if she even knows you, at all. 
• If you are looking for an adult relationship.  Dress like an adult.  I don't mean when you are sitting around your house, or on a camping trip.  I mean when you go out and actively seek woman with whom to have a relationship, dress the part.  Leave the baseball cap out of the equation, unless you are playing baseball.  I am not saying you should dress like you are going to a job interview either.  This is basic stuff guys, but don't underestimate its affectiveness.
• Be proactive!  If you are religious, you just might find a good woman in church.  If you are a bookworm, you may find her at Barnes and Noble.  Be on the lookout.  If you like to hike, sign up for survivalist training.  You may find the woman of your dreams in the great outdoors.  Walk up to the woman and ask her name.  Tell her your name.  You don't need a pithy come on.  Remember keep it simple.

Finding a good girlfriend is a great challenge with great rewards.  If you want a woman to love you for who you are, then let her know who you are.  Treat her with respect and dignity, and she will show you the same.  Don't become overly smitten with her looks, because looks fade.  Don't look past faults she may have either.  If she seems a little crazy, or angry, don't write it off.  You don't need a nutcase on your hands. 
I wish you well on your journey.  I hope that all of you good guys out there, find the good woman you are looking for and you deserve.  Remember to be true to yourself.  You will find the one that loves you for you.  Just remember that respect goes a long way.

How to Find a Good Woman

I am here to help...

 I have heard my guy friends talk about how they can't find a good woman.  The truth is, they are not looking in the right places and they are not being true to themselves.  A relationship is a "give and take" situation.  You have to think about what you are willing to give and what you want out of a relationship to make it work.  As much as I hate to say it.... a lot of times what you see is what you get.  This is true with guys and women.  If you are a guy who likes big fake boobs and bleached blond hair, that may the extent of what you get.  Remember, keeping your woman augmented is not cheap, so if you can afford to keep a nipped, tucked, and chisled woman by your side, I say go for it.  If you are looking for a woman who will love you, be loyal, and stand by you through thick and thin, then continue reading.
First of all, getting laid and finding a good girlfriend are two different things.  If you go to a bar, find the drunkest, hottest chick in the place, this is probably not going to be your soulmate.  I know it sounds simple, but simplicity is the essence of truth.  I have a few bullet points for you guys.

• First of all, be yourself.  Don't use your "phone voice".  Don't try to sell yourself.  Women can see right past that.  Don't tell her your life story in the first ten minutes of conversation.  These things aren't natural and seem really un-natural.  Now, don't go overboard and start farting and scratching yourself either.  I am sure I didn't have to mention that last part, but you never know.  I guess the most important thing I have to say in this bullet is for you not to try to sound sincere.  If you are making an effort to sound sincere, you do not sound sincere.
• Don't boast!  This is the biggest turn off in the world.  If you drive an Aston Martin, don't walk up and tell the woman you drive an Aston Martin.  That is the lamest thing in the world.  It seems desperate.  Don't tell her all of the prospects you have lined up.  The more you boast, the more she thinks you probably live in your mom's basement.
• Don't lie!  If you plan on spending any more time with this woman, please be a honest as possible.  Lies, even small ones, destroy relationships.  Don't tell her you have a house in the Hamptons if you don't.  She may expect you to take her there one day.  If she finds out you lied, about anything, she will wonder how many lies you have told her and if she even knows you, at all. 
• If you are looking for an adult relationship.  Dress like an adult.  I don't mean when you are sitting around your house, or on a camping trip.  I mean when you go out and actively seek woman with whom to have a relationship, dress the part.  Leave the baseball cap out of the equation, unless you are playing baseball.  I am not saying you should dress like you are going to a job interview either.  This is basic stuff guys, but don't underestimate its affectiveness.
• Be proactive!  If you are religious, you just might find a good woman in church.  If you are a bookworm, you may find her at Barnes and Noble.  Be on the lookout.  If you like to hike, sign up for survivalist training.  You may find the woman of your dreams in the great outdoors.  Walk up to the woman and ask her name.  Tell her your name.  You don't need a pithy come on.  Remember keep it simple.

Finding a good girlfriend is a great challenge with great rewards.  If you want a woman to love you for who you are, then let her know who you are.  Treat her with respect and dignity, and she will show you the same.  Don't become overly smitten with her looks, because looks fade.  Don't look past faults she may have either.  If she seems a little crazy, or angry, don't write it off.  You don't need a nutcase on your hands. 
I wish you well on your journey.  I hope that all of you good guys out there, find the good woman you are looking for and you deserve.  Remember to be true to yourself.  You will find the one that loves you for you.  Just remember that respect goes a long way.

Should You Date A Virgin?

Men want it all in one woman. Think about it. We want our partner to be a sex fiend, a chef in the kitchen and a source of income. We want Jenna Jameson and Martha Stewart in one perfect package. She has to close the big corporate deal, come home and prepare a gourmet meal, and convey insatiable zeal in the bedroom.

Sounds like heaven? Perhaps. An impossible dream? Maybe. Why we agonize over what we can never have is a mystery. Men, we have to decide what we desire most in a woman. Is it her body, her mind or her merit as a life partner? Can we have it all?

I think a mix is possible but to expect your woman to cook like Julia Child and look like Julia Roberts is unrealistic. Plus a perfect mother and porn star to boot? Slow down. The point is that as men, we objectify women and pigeonhole them into a classic stereotype. No matter how educated or enlightened you claim to be, the fact is that you do it on instinct.

Society has cultivated us to think of women as a Venus, Mother, or Virgin. We want the whore and mother but many men still covet the virgin.

sexual fantasy or turnoff?

When we think virgin, we either recoil or go wild. We either think of pure, driven snow and an illicit sexual fantasy, or shrivel at the prospect of being her first at everything. Think about that before you embark with a virgin. The level of maintenance required is immense.

Sure, all relationships demand it but there is a confidence factor to consider with a woman who has yet to experience her first sexual encounter. She may not have any, for one. Or to be fair, she could be a woman of conviction, with a strong belief that one man alone, and a special man at that, should get an access pass to her temple.

If you accept the challenge, you had better be in for the long haul. Or else you may have a broken heart and a serious amount of damage control to contend with.

Not that all virgins are fragile and pristine. Far from it. The factors to consider are age and circumstance. They both have everything to do with whether you should step in and become her first or even date her. An obese thirty-something career woman virgin for example, is not on the same level as a naäve 18-year-old virgin with a strict background who has never dated before.

The one common factor is that I would advise you to stay away from both. Unless of course, you fall in love (the one exception to the no virgin rule) and have the patience and compassion to deal with the inevitable.

the virtue of patience

What's inevitable? Well, as I hinted at before, maintenance. Let me be specific. If you must date a virgin, keep in mind that she may be a virgin in more than one sense of the word. Forget sex for a moment. What about the art of the relationship argument? Can she deal with the turmoil of a fight or will she break down and lose it? How will you respond?

How about the concept of space and independence? You love to kick back at home or hang with your crew, but is she down? Does she understand or will she take it the wrong way? Think about that for a moment. Even if she has dated before and done "stuff," a relationship with sex in the mix is not the same.

Should You Date A Virgin?

Men want it all in one woman. Think about it. We want our partner to be a sex fiend, a chef in the kitchen and a source of income. We want Jenna Jameson and Martha Stewart in one perfect package. She has to close the big corporate deal, come home and prepare a gourmet meal, and convey insatiable zeal in the bedroom.

Sounds like heaven? Perhaps. An impossible dream? Maybe. Why we agonize over what we can never have is a mystery. Men, we have to decide what we desire most in a woman. Is it her body, her mind or her merit as a life partner? Can we have it all?

I think a mix is possible but to expect your woman to cook like Julia Child and look like Julia Roberts is unrealistic. Plus a perfect mother and porn star to boot? Slow down. The point is that as men, we objectify women and pigeonhole them into a classic stereotype. No matter how educated or enlightened you claim to be, the fact is that you do it on instinct.

Society has cultivated us to think of women as a Venus, Mother, or Virgin. We want the whore and mother but many men still covet the virgin.

sexual fantasy or turnoff?

When we think virgin, we either recoil or go wild. We either think of pure, driven snow and an illicit sexual fantasy, or shrivel at the prospect of being her first at everything. Think about that before you embark with a virgin. The level of maintenance required is immense.

Sure, all relationships demand it but there is a confidence factor to consider with a woman who has yet to experience her first sexual encounter. She may not have any, for one. Or to be fair, she could be a woman of conviction, with a strong belief that one man alone, and a special man at that, should get an access pass to her temple.

If you accept the challenge, you had better be in for the long haul. Or else you may have a broken heart and a serious amount of damage control to contend with.

Not that all virgins are fragile and pristine. Far from it. The factors to consider are age and circumstance. They both have everything to do with whether you should step in and become her first or even date her. An obese thirty-something career woman virgin for example, is not on the same level as a naäve 18-year-old virgin with a strict background who has never dated before.

The one common factor is that I would advise you to stay away from both. Unless of course, you fall in love (the one exception to the no virgin rule) and have the patience and compassion to deal with the inevitable.

the virtue of patience

What's inevitable? Well, as I hinted at before, maintenance. Let me be specific. If you must date a virgin, keep in mind that she may be a virgin in more than one sense of the word. Forget sex for a moment. What about the art of the relationship argument? Can she deal with the turmoil of a fight or will she break down and lose it? How will you respond?

How about the concept of space and independence? You love to kick back at home or hang with your crew, but is she down? Does she understand or will she take it the wrong way? Think about that for a moment. Even if she has dated before and done "stuff," a relationship with sex in the mix is not the same.

Facebook Dating, Ultimate Way to Make Friends

Meeting new people has never been easier and more effective than with Facebook Dating! Users just have to register on Yangutu, launch the Facebook Dating app and plunge into the search of great new friends. Users with similar hobbies and interests will easily find each other and immerse into exciting communication due to the neat design and outstanding functionality of the app.
Start meeting meeting new interesting people today with Facebook Dating!

Are You a Dating Loser?

Everyone is happy with their beloved ones, but you? Sick and tired of spending lonely evenings in your empty flat? Just stop and analyze your life. Maybe you do something wrong? Before blaming someone else in your failures try to find out what you can do to improve the situation. If you are just afraid of starting new relationships because of unlucky previous experience, this article is definitely for you.

I don’t want this torture anymore
If you’ve got the experience of being dumped or cheated on, then you probably don’t want enter new relationships at once. Yes, breaking up sucks – it ruins our life and our emotional connection with the partner. And of course in order to avoid this to happen again we try to protect ourselves by closing our hearts for new feelings. Time really heals, and one day when you realize that not all people are the same and that not all of them are dreaming of breaking your heart again you’ll see how happy you can become again. Unfortunately, no one knows how much time you will need to overcome the fear of being dumped, but one thing I know for sure – without trying hard you’ll never succeed.
I don’t want to be controlled
Sometimes we treat our partners as if they are our property, forgetting about their feelings, needs and desires. But real love presupposes putting our partners’ issues in the first place. Don’t you want to make your girlfriend/boyfriend happy? What can compare to seeing a smiling face of your one and only? Relationship is a difficult thing and it’s absolutely impossible to maintain without compromising. Don’t worry when you find your soulmate meeting on halfway will become natural for both of you.
I’m afraid my partner isn’t truly interested in me
Don’t you think that this fear is more about you, but not your would-be partner? People, who are not able to maintain long-term relationships because of quick loss of interest to people, are more likely to expect the same from others. If you treat dating like a game where you are to prove your superiority over other participants you have no chances to succeed in finding your soulmate. True love has neither rules nor time limits. And be sure if you meet your one and only, you’ll feel it and obviously won’t lose your interest.

Are You a Dating Loser?

Everyone is happy with their beloved ones, but you? Sick and tired of spending lonely evenings in your empty flat? Just stop and analyze your life. Maybe you do something wrong? Before blaming someone else in your failures try to find out what you can do to improve the situation. If you are just afraid of starting new relationships because of unlucky previous experience, this article is definitely for you.

I don’t want this torture anymore
If you’ve got the experience of being dumped or cheated on, then you probably don’t want enter new relationships at once. Yes, breaking up sucks – it ruins our life and our emotional connection with the partner. And of course in order to avoid this to happen again we try to protect ourselves by closing our hearts for new feelings. Time really heals, and one day when you realize that not all people are the same and that not all of them are dreaming of breaking your heart again you’ll see how happy you can become again. Unfortunately, no one knows how much time you will need to overcome the fear of being dumped, but one thing I know for sure – without trying hard you’ll never succeed.
I don’t want to be controlled
Sometimes we treat our partners as if they are our property, forgetting about their feelings, needs and desires. But real love presupposes putting our partners’ issues in the first place. Don’t you want to make your girlfriend/boyfriend happy? What can compare to seeing a smiling face of your one and only? Relationship is a difficult thing and it’s absolutely impossible to maintain without compromising. Don’t worry when you find your soulmate meeting on halfway will become natural for both of you.
I’m afraid my partner isn’t truly interested in me
Don’t you think that this fear is more about you, but not your would-be partner? People, who are not able to maintain long-term relationships because of quick loss of interest to people, are more likely to expect the same from others. If you treat dating like a game where you are to prove your superiority over other participants you have no chances to succeed in finding your soulmate. True love has neither rules nor time limits. And be sure if you meet your one and only, you’ll feel it and obviously won’t lose your interest.

Importance of Body Language

When you feel good about yourself, like when you feel self confident, feel very happy, and are open minded, doesn’t it feel like a better experience when you meet people than when you are sad, angry, depressed, or have low self esteem? What about when someone walks into a room and even though they might not be drop dead gorgeous, everyone else in the room seems to admire them and want to be around them?
The key is body language. People tend to be attracted to people expressing great body language which leads to high demeanor, charisma, and energy. Understanding our body language is sometimes challenging but what should we do to improve our first impressions?
1. Cheer up. Don’t try to make a complicated or deep conversation. Make a light, easy, and flowing conversation without trying too hard. Even if you feel down and low, lighten up by meeting someone new and having a casual conversation.
2. Make eye contact. Be aware of where you focus your attention and movement of your eyes. If you are not making eye contact with the person you are talking to and let your eyes shy away, you might be taken as rude. If a man is looking in your direction, you should give him the hint to approach you by making eye contact. That doesn’t mean having a stare contest, but just a glance in his direction will do the trick.
3. Smile often. Many of us forget this simple key factor in boosting our charisma, especially when we feel nervous or uneasy. The best way to make others around you feel comfortable is if you give them a warm and welcoming smile.
4. Don’t cross arms. By crossing your arms, this can be taken by the other person as a sign to stay away. It’s hard to be open with someone who seems guarded. Sometimes we find ourselves naturally crossing our arms in conversations, so be aware when making this mistake.
5. Be proud and confident. If we slouch or don’t stand up straight, we can come off as someone not too confident or proud. Stand up straight and be proud.
6. Don’t talk so fast. Slow down your speech and don’t talk too fast. This can give the impression that you are nervous and might come off as high strung. Take a deep breath and try to slow down your talking.

Relationship Advice To Get Him To Let You In

Men are notorious for clamming up when it comes to talking about how they feel and what they're thinking. It can be frustrating and at times, hard on your relationship when you're dealing with a guy who refuses to open up, but there are a few ways to get around his penchant for staying tight-lipped. We've put together some simple relationship advice for getting your guy to open up.
 

Choose the right time

If you have something on your mind, it can be very tempting to burst into the room where your guy is working, sleeping or in the middle of a phone conversation, but you want to stop and think before you start peppering him with questions. Consider talking to him when he's usually most relaxed. That's the best time for you to approach in your attempt to get him to open up. Doing so when he's stressed out, barely in the door from a hard day at work or otherwise preoccupied is never a good idea and will just put him on edge. Timing is everything when you want to have a serious discussion about how someone feels or what is going on in the relationship.

Choose the right place

Like timing, location can also make a big difference when it comes to how much someone will be willing to open up. If you can, get out of the house and find somewhere that you both feel at ease and that is conducive to talking (e.g. not filled with loud music or too many people). Being outside of the usual distractions (iPhone, TV, magazines lying around) makes talking on a deeper level a lot easier and makes people (even those who keep fairly quiet about themselves) more likely to open up. Try a local coffee shop, nearby park or even a low-key pub that doesn't get overcrowded.

Ask open-ended questions

Questions that can be answered with either "yes" or "no" are the worst kind to ask if you want to get someone talking. These types of dead-end questions don't allow for any movement or flow in the conversation. Instead, ask open-ended questions that will force your partner to dig a little deeper with his responses. Ask him questions similar to the following examples, tailored to whatever it is you want to talk to him about:

• How did that make you feel?
• What led you to that decision?
• Why do you feel that way?
• How did you end up dealing with that?
• What inspired you to go there?

Take the lead

If you want your guy to open up, we suggest you take the lead and do some sharing of your own to get him in the mood for a more intimate conversation. Fair is fair so show him that you're willing to let him inside your head (and that it's really not that scary to have an open, honest discussion). Once you've opened up to him – about what you're most excited about, new goals you have, things that scare you – he will be much more likely to do the same, or at least less unwilling to chat than usual.

Relationship Advice To Get Him To Let You In

Men are notorious for clamming up when it comes to talking about how they feel and what they're thinking. It can be frustrating and at times, hard on your relationship when you're dealing with a guy who refuses to open up, but there are a few ways to get around his penchant for staying tight-lipped. We've put together some simple relationship advice for getting your guy to open up.
 

Choose the right time

If you have something on your mind, it can be very tempting to burst into the room where your guy is working, sleeping or in the middle of a phone conversation, but you want to stop and think before you start peppering him with questions. Consider talking to him when he's usually most relaxed. That's the best time for you to approach in your attempt to get him to open up. Doing so when he's stressed out, barely in the door from a hard day at work or otherwise preoccupied is never a good idea and will just put him on edge. Timing is everything when you want to have a serious discussion about how someone feels or what is going on in the relationship.

Choose the right place

Like timing, location can also make a big difference when it comes to how much someone will be willing to open up. If you can, get out of the house and find somewhere that you both feel at ease and that is conducive to talking (e.g. not filled with loud music or too many people). Being outside of the usual distractions (iPhone, TV, magazines lying around) makes talking on a deeper level a lot easier and makes people (even those who keep fairly quiet about themselves) more likely to open up. Try a local coffee shop, nearby park or even a low-key pub that doesn't get overcrowded.

Ask open-ended questions

Questions that can be answered with either "yes" or "no" are the worst kind to ask if you want to get someone talking. These types of dead-end questions don't allow for any movement or flow in the conversation. Instead, ask open-ended questions that will force your partner to dig a little deeper with his responses. Ask him questions similar to the following examples, tailored to whatever it is you want to talk to him about:

• How did that make you feel?
• What led you to that decision?
• Why do you feel that way?
• How did you end up dealing with that?
• What inspired you to go there?

Take the lead

If you want your guy to open up, we suggest you take the lead and do some sharing of your own to get him in the mood for a more intimate conversation. Fair is fair so show him that you're willing to let him inside your head (and that it's really not that scary to have an open, honest discussion). Once you've opened up to him – about what you're most excited about, new goals you have, things that scare you – he will be much more likely to do the same, or at least less unwilling to chat than usual.

How to kiss ?

So, you finally gathered the nerve to ask her out, and she accepted the invitation -- nice. Now, don't blow it by messing up your first kiss. The first kiss is something that women place a lot of importance on and may even base how far they let the relationship progress. Their thinking is that if you can't get that right, chances are you won't be able to get the rest right either.

But there's no need to panic. Below are 10 tips to kissing her for the first time that will ensure you make it one that she'll remember, and make her look forward to things to come.

Be alone.

There is something about the first kiss that just dictates that the two of you must be alone. It's a moment that you will both want to remember, and a crowd of people surrounding you will not enhance this particular memory.

If you and your girl are at a crowded restaurant or club, or with other people, and you get the feeling that she'd like to be alone with you, ask her if she'd like to accompany you somewhere. Take her for a walk or a drive, get into your own intimate party of two, and wait for the sparks to start flying.

Have good breath

For God's sake, don't blow your chance to kiss her because you ate ludicrous amounts of garlic at dinner and forgot to bring gum! A good way to avoid this is by thinking ahead and keeping spices and foods that tend to linger to a minimum at dinner. So, when you're ordering, hold the onions and stay away from garlic, curry, and other pungent spices, and opt for foods with lemon or mint instead.

Always keep a pack of gum or mints in your car or in your jacket pocket, and pop some in your mouth as soon as you finish your meal or glass of beer. If you even try to kiss her with horrible breath, you can be sure that that will spell the end.

Pick your moment

You have to know when the moment is right. Like if the conversation stops, your eyes meet and neither of you seems to be able to look away, that is the perfect moment to kiss her. So, you should take the opportunity to do so.

If she is trying to get something out of her eye, or is talking about something that she feels really strongly about, don't kiss her and think that you are being spontaneous. She'll probably wonder what possessed you to do so at such an awkward moment. After all, bad timing is not something that you want to be remembered for.

Don't ask

Never ask a woman for her permission to kiss her. Despite what you might think, women, in general, like it when their man takes charge, especially during a passionate moment. Asking for her permission will make you seem timid and unsure; not sweet and sensitive. So, be a man and kiss her.

Of course, before you do so, you must be sure that she wants you to. Check her body language: if her body is facing, leaning toward, or touching yours, and she is smiling, biting her lip, or playing with her hair, chances are that she's interested in you. So, pick your moment and go for it, boy.

Take it easy.

This moment should feel like it is moving in slow motion. There is nothing that will turn a woman off faster than a guy who moves too quickly, especially if this is the very first time you are even going to kiss her.

So relax, take a deep breath and make the moment last. Enjoy it and appreciate every second of it.

Touch her

Don't go from talking across a table to planting your lips on her face; touch her. Put your hands on her hips or around her waist and gently pull her toward you. Then, run your fingers through her hair, and cup her beautiful face in your hands.

Slowly lean in toward her and kiss her sensuously on the cheek, making your way to her lips. While you kiss her, caress her body and feel her getting goose bumps.

Close your eyes

While eye contact is good up until this point, make sure to close your eyes while you are kissing her. There is nothing weirder to a woman than a guy who kisses with his eyes wide open.

If she catches you with your eyes open, she may even think that you are not really enjoying the moment, and feel insecure as a result. Besides, a great kiss is much more enjoyable when you are completely immersed in it, and closing your eyes will help to block out any distractions.

Pretend she's sleeping

Kissing a woman during an intense lovemaking session is different than kissing her for the first time. Your approach during that first kiss should be as though she's sleeping and you don't want to frighten her.

Your lips should touch hers softly and slowly. And you should gently awaken her sensual side; not force it out of her like an alarm clock scaring her out of bed.

Watch your tongue

Never shove your tongue down her throat -- she might choke. Seriously, if you do this, you will come across as an overeager adolescent who has never kissed a woman before. Keep your tongue to yourself; at least for the first kiss.

If the attraction is so strong that you both feel like you want to take that next step, you can gently tease her with your tongue, but practice restraint. Doing so will only keep her hungry for more.

Don't slobber

I've heard women tell stories of guys who left them feeling like a very friendly St. Bernard had just finished greeting them. I think it's fair to assume that this is not a comparison you would enjoy. So, my last piece of advice is to avoid it by not slobbering all over her. Keep your saliva to yourself.

a kiss is more than a kiss

If you follow these 10 tips, you will definitely give her a first kiss that she will think about all night. It might even get her mind to wander past that kiss and on to what else you can do... So, just relax and enjoy.

How to kiss ?

So, you finally gathered the nerve to ask her out, and she accepted the invitation -- nice. Now, don't blow it by messing up your first kiss. The first kiss is something that women place a lot of importance on and may even base how far they let the relationship progress. Their thinking is that if you can't get that right, chances are you won't be able to get the rest right either.

But there's no need to panic. Below are 10 tips to kissing her for the first time that will ensure you make it one that she'll remember, and make her look forward to things to come.

Be alone.

There is something about the first kiss that just dictates that the two of you must be alone. It's a moment that you will both want to remember, and a crowd of people surrounding you will not enhance this particular memory.

If you and your girl are at a crowded restaurant or club, or with other people, and you get the feeling that she'd like to be alone with you, ask her if she'd like to accompany you somewhere. Take her for a walk or a drive, get into your own intimate party of two, and wait for the sparks to start flying.

Have good breath

For God's sake, don't blow your chance to kiss her because you ate ludicrous amounts of garlic at dinner and forgot to bring gum! A good way to avoid this is by thinking ahead and keeping spices and foods that tend to linger to a minimum at dinner. So, when you're ordering, hold the onions and stay away from garlic, curry, and other pungent spices, and opt for foods with lemon or mint instead.

Always keep a pack of gum or mints in your car or in your jacket pocket, and pop some in your mouth as soon as you finish your meal or glass of beer. If you even try to kiss her with horrible breath, you can be sure that that will spell the end.

Pick your moment

You have to know when the moment is right. Like if the conversation stops, your eyes meet and neither of you seems to be able to look away, that is the perfect moment to kiss her. So, you should take the opportunity to do so.

If she is trying to get something out of her eye, or is talking about something that she feels really strongly about, don't kiss her and think that you are being spontaneous. She'll probably wonder what possessed you to do so at such an awkward moment. After all, bad timing is not something that you want to be remembered for.

Don't ask

Never ask a woman for her permission to kiss her. Despite what you might think, women, in general, like it when their man takes charge, especially during a passionate moment. Asking for her permission will make you seem timid and unsure; not sweet and sensitive. So, be a man and kiss her.

Of course, before you do so, you must be sure that she wants you to. Check her body language: if her body is facing, leaning toward, or touching yours, and she is smiling, biting her lip, or playing with her hair, chances are that she's interested in you. So, pick your moment and go for it, boy.

Take it easy.

This moment should feel like it is moving in slow motion. There is nothing that will turn a woman off faster than a guy who moves too quickly, especially if this is the very first time you are even going to kiss her.

So relax, take a deep breath and make the moment last. Enjoy it and appreciate every second of it.

Touch her

Don't go from talking across a table to planting your lips on her face; touch her. Put your hands on her hips or around her waist and gently pull her toward you. Then, run your fingers through her hair, and cup her beautiful face in your hands.

Slowly lean in toward her and kiss her sensuously on the cheek, making your way to her lips. While you kiss her, caress her body and feel her getting goose bumps.

Close your eyes

While eye contact is good up until this point, make sure to close your eyes while you are kissing her. There is nothing weirder to a woman than a guy who kisses with his eyes wide open.

If she catches you with your eyes open, she may even think that you are not really enjoying the moment, and feel insecure as a result. Besides, a great kiss is much more enjoyable when you are completely immersed in it, and closing your eyes will help to block out any distractions.

Pretend she's sleeping

Kissing a woman during an intense lovemaking session is different than kissing her for the first time. Your approach during that first kiss should be as though she's sleeping and you don't want to frighten her.

Your lips should touch hers softly and slowly. And you should gently awaken her sensual side; not force it out of her like an alarm clock scaring her out of bed.

Watch your tongue

Never shove your tongue down her throat -- she might choke. Seriously, if you do this, you will come across as an overeager adolescent who has never kissed a woman before. Keep your tongue to yourself; at least for the first kiss.

If the attraction is so strong that you both feel like you want to take that next step, you can gently tease her with your tongue, but practice restraint. Doing so will only keep her hungry for more.

Don't slobber

I've heard women tell stories of guys who left them feeling like a very friendly St. Bernard had just finished greeting them. I think it's fair to assume that this is not a comparison you would enjoy. So, my last piece of advice is to avoid it by not slobbering all over her. Keep your saliva to yourself.

a kiss is more than a kiss

If you follow these 10 tips, you will definitely give her a first kiss that she will think about all night. It might even get her mind to wander past that kiss and on to what else you can do... So, just relax and enjoy.

7 Tips for Long-Distance Couples

If you're in a long-distance relationship, read these tips to help you keep it together.

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.

 

“Whether you just met someone in a different city or your partner moved out of town for another job, long-distance relationships are common,” according to relationship advisor and therapist Dr. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. In fact, in our fickle economy, many couples find themselves separated because of their professions. Orbuch sees this long-distance situation most often.
Long-distance relationships create extra challenges and stressors. But couples can still cultivate a fulfilling and happy relationship. Here’s how.ad20751j300x100A
1. View the distance as an opportunity.
Orbuch encourages “couples to write down the advantages of a long distance relationship, especially if it is only short term.” According to Orbuch, your list might include: extra time with family and friends; an opportunity to learn to communicate even better; the anticipation and thrill of weekend trips; maintaining your individuality; and spending more time on your own interests, goals and passions, such as “working on your next book, your art, your hobbies and exercising.”
2. Establish crystal-clear expectations.
Couples want to make sure that they’re on the same page when it comes to their relationship, especially since distance can lead to many mix-ups.
“These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line,” Orbuch said. Get clear on things like how often you’ll communicate each day and how and when you’ll visit each other.
3. Have an end goal.
Orbuch strongly suggested couples talk about the future of their relationship and “when you’ll move back together again.” As she explained, this shows to both people that the “relationship is going somewhere” and your efforts are worthwhile.
It helps to agree on a timeframe, but Orbuch said that at least trying to create one is a good start. And “Be realistic in your assessment of this relationship timetable,” she added.
4. Communicate every day.
Let’s face it: Many partners don’t enjoy talking on the phone; some find texting irritating; and others can’t stand technology in general. But keeping that emotional connection is key, Orbuch said.

7 Tips for Long-Distance Couples

If you're in a long-distance relationship, read these tips to help you keep it together.

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.

 

“Whether you just met someone in a different city or your partner moved out of town for another job, long-distance relationships are common,” according to relationship advisor and therapist Dr. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. In fact, in our fickle economy, many couples find themselves separated because of their professions. Orbuch sees this long-distance situation most often.
Long-distance relationships create extra challenges and stressors. But couples can still cultivate a fulfilling and happy relationship. Here’s how.ad20751j300x100A
1. View the distance as an opportunity.
Orbuch encourages “couples to write down the advantages of a long distance relationship, especially if it is only short term.” According to Orbuch, your list might include: extra time with family and friends; an opportunity to learn to communicate even better; the anticipation and thrill of weekend trips; maintaining your individuality; and spending more time on your own interests, goals and passions, such as “working on your next book, your art, your hobbies and exercising.”
2. Establish crystal-clear expectations.
Couples want to make sure that they’re on the same page when it comes to their relationship, especially since distance can lead to many mix-ups.
“These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line,” Orbuch said. Get clear on things like how often you’ll communicate each day and how and when you’ll visit each other.
3. Have an end goal.
Orbuch strongly suggested couples talk about the future of their relationship and “when you’ll move back together again.” As she explained, this shows to both people that the “relationship is going somewhere” and your efforts are worthwhile.
It helps to agree on a timeframe, but Orbuch said that at least trying to create one is a good start. And “Be realistic in your assessment of this relationship timetable,” she added.
4. Communicate every day.
Let’s face it: Many partners don’t enjoy talking on the phone; some find texting irritating; and others can’t stand technology in general. But keeping that emotional connection is key, Orbuch said.

7 Rules for Saving Your Relationship

If your relationship is in trouble, changing your intent can heal it.

Is your relationship in trouble?
The first question you need to ask yourself is: "Do I want to save this relationship or do I want to leave it?" If the answer is that you want to save it, then this article is for you.
Following are 7 rules or choices that you can make to completely change the course of your relationship.
1. Be honest with yourself regarding your primary intention. Which category do you fall into - the intent to protect or the intent to learn?

• Is your primary intention to protect yourself from your fears with some form of controlling behavior - such as anger, blame, criticism, withdrawal of love, threats, compliance or resistance? Is having power over your partner and winning more important to you than being loving to yourself and your partner? Do you make your partner responsible for your feelings? Are you more devoted to getting love and avoiding rejection, rather than to mutuality, caring and sharing love?
   
• Is your primary intention to learn about loving yourself and your partner? Are you more devoted to mutuality, caring and sharing love than to being right, winning, having your way or making your partner responsible for your feelings? Is learning more important to you than whether or not you receive approval?

Basic to all the other rules is being in the intent to learn about loving yourself and others. If your primary intent is to protect yourself from pain and rejection with controlling behavior, you will have no chance of improving your relationship. You will continue to create the very problems you are attempting to avoid with your controlling behavior.
2. Let go of the past. Hanging on to old grievances is part of the intent to protect - blaming your partner for your pain rather than taking responsibility for whatever choices you made that resulted in your unhappiness.
3. Disengage from conflict as soon as one person is not open to learning. There is no point in trying to talk out problems and issues until both people are open to learning. If you are open and your partner is not, then give up trying to solve problems by talking about them, and unilaterally figure out how to take loving care of yourself in the face of your partner's choices.
4. Keep your eyes on your own plate, sharing only about yourself and your own learning. Let go of analyzing or defining your partner. Let go of interrogating questions that are really attacks. These behaviors are controlling and invasive. Your job is to define yourself, not your partner! The more you define your own inner worth and let go of attempting to define your partner, the better your relationship will become.

7 Rules for Saving Your Relationship

If your relationship is in trouble, changing your intent can heal it.

Is your relationship in trouble?
The first question you need to ask yourself is: "Do I want to save this relationship or do I want to leave it?" If the answer is that you want to save it, then this article is for you.
Following are 7 rules or choices that you can make to completely change the course of your relationship.
1. Be honest with yourself regarding your primary intention. Which category do you fall into - the intent to protect or the intent to learn?

• Is your primary intention to protect yourself from your fears with some form of controlling behavior - such as anger, blame, criticism, withdrawal of love, threats, compliance or resistance? Is having power over your partner and winning more important to you than being loving to yourself and your partner? Do you make your partner responsible for your feelings? Are you more devoted to getting love and avoiding rejection, rather than to mutuality, caring and sharing love?
   
• Is your primary intention to learn about loving yourself and your partner? Are you more devoted to mutuality, caring and sharing love than to being right, winning, having your way or making your partner responsible for your feelings? Is learning more important to you than whether or not you receive approval?

Basic to all the other rules is being in the intent to learn about loving yourself and others. If your primary intent is to protect yourself from pain and rejection with controlling behavior, you will have no chance of improving your relationship. You will continue to create the very problems you are attempting to avoid with your controlling behavior.
2. Let go of the past. Hanging on to old grievances is part of the intent to protect - blaming your partner for your pain rather than taking responsibility for whatever choices you made that resulted in your unhappiness.
3. Disengage from conflict as soon as one person is not open to learning. There is no point in trying to talk out problems and issues until both people are open to learning. If you are open and your partner is not, then give up trying to solve problems by talking about them, and unilaterally figure out how to take loving care of yourself in the face of your partner's choices.
4. Keep your eyes on your own plate, sharing only about yourself and your own learning. Let go of analyzing or defining your partner. Let go of interrogating questions that are really attacks. These behaviors are controlling and invasive. Your job is to define yourself, not your partner! The more you define your own inner worth and let go of attempting to define your partner, the better your relationship will become.