The secret of happy and healthy married life

Foundation of happy married life is neither education nor wealth. Many incidents of mutual enmity, strained relations and divorce amongst educated couples prove that conjugal happiness does not depend on education. It also does not depend on wealth, because the latter is only a means to fulfill basic needs of life. Even if the needs are fulfilled there is no guarantee that the bonds of mutual love and intimacy will continue to be strong.

For happy married life, noble feelings of mutual sharing and caring and deep soul-level commitment to the sacred bond are the essential factors. The aim of Vedic rituals and rites performed during the solemnization of a sacramental marriage is to stress that marriage is basically a spiritual union of two souls and not a mundane contract breakable at the whim and fancy of either partner. It is an unbreakable bond of soul mates. The homes where these ideals are followed have always a life full of merriment, laughter and joy. In such homes there is always heaven like atmosphere.

The incident belongs to 1912. An English ship named Titanic was sinking in the sea. Rescuers were trying to save precious cargo and passengers by lifeboats. A couple named Mrs. Isadore and Mr. Istas were traveling in that ship. By life boat only one out of them could be saved. Mr. Istas picked up his wife and shifted her to the lifeboat so that her life could be saved. Mrs. Isadore jumped back into the sinking ship and thus spoke to her husband "Dear husband when during the whole of our married life we have remained together then why should we part now? Since we have lived together, we will die together." How much intimacy, love and soul kinship is implied in these words! It is such a mutual bonding that makes married life a happy sacrament.

Love is not based on physical beauty; it requires selfless feelings of glad giving and service. Love story of army commander of America, Andrew Jackson and his wife Rachael is world famous. Rachael was uneducated and had normal features while Jackson was one of the most handsome persons of that time. It was soul level bond of love, which inspired him to be always loyal and dedicated to Rachael’s love.

Usually for some period in the beginning there is so called romantic love between all husbands and wives but slowly as ego centered angularities of each other start clashing, the physical attraction between them starts decreasing and within a short time family life becomes an arena of mutual recrimination. This situation also arises because of over-indulgence in sensual pleasure. Hence there are some basic rules of relationship, which both husband and wife should strictly follow to make the relationship one of mutual respect, love and caring.

Married life is a sacred union of two souls as husband and wife. There must be total commitment and loyalty in the relationship. Distrust and secretiveness creates hatred and bitterness against each other. Sometimes distrust and doubt have no basis. This confusion arises because of ones own weakness. Hence it is essential that husband and wife should gladly share their inmost feelings with each other so that clouds of distrust could be cleared through openhearted discussion.

Sometimes feeling of indifference also creates doubt. If wife is ill or she has some trouble and husband does not show loving concern and care or if husband has some mental or physical problem and wife neglects then such situations make married life poisonous. Both must consciously nurture the relationship through mutual giving, serving, caring and loving. Marriage should become the corner stone for the edifice of all other relationships.

People have a natural tendency to be happy on being praised. People praise God also to get His favors. This is what happens in prayers when Gods are praised for their divine qualities. Similarly people get hurt by criticism and condemnation. Therefore shower praise generously and shun criticism of your life mate. Every body has some qualities and they should be praised and applauded without any reserve. The aim should be to encourage and elevate each other through heart-warming gestures so that dormant divine qualities in both are stimulated and nurtured – making family life a heaven of happiness and joy. In this matter, husbands have greater responsibilities in comparison to wives. They should appreciate their wives for their contribution to home making, caring, cooperating in bringing up of the children. This fills their hearts with loving kindness and warmth.