10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

Just for fun I recently asked Erin, “Now that the kids are in summer school, don’t you think it’s about time you went out and got yourself a job?  I hate seeing you wallow in unemployment for so long.”
She smiled and said, “Wow.  I have been unemployed a really long time.  That’s weird…  I like it!”
Neither of us have had jobs since the ’90s (my only job was in 1992), so we’ve been self-employed for quite a while.  In our household it’s a running joke for one of us to say to the other, “Maybe you should get a job, derelict!”
It’s like the scene in The Three Stooges where Moe tells Curly to get a job, and Curly backs away, saying, “No, please… not that!  Anything but that!”
It’s funny that when people reach a certain age, such as after graduating college, they assume it’s time to go out and get a job.  But like many things the masses do, just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.  In fact, if you’re reasonably intelligent, getting a job is one of the worst things you can do to support yourself.  There are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.
Here are some reasons you should do everything in your power to avoid getting a job:

1. Income for dummies.

Getting a job and trading your time for money may seem like a good idea.  There’s only one problem with it.  It’s stupid!  It’s the stupidest way you can possibly generate income!  This is truly income for dummies.
Why is getting a job so dumb?  Because you only get paid when you’re working.  Don’t you see a problem with that, or have you been so thoroughly brainwashed into thinking it’s reasonable and intelligent to only earn income when you’re working?  Have you never considered that it might be better to be paid even when you’re not working?  Who taught you that you could only earn income while working?  Some other brainwashed employee perhaps?
Don’t you think your life would be much easier if you got paid while you were eating, sleeping, and playing with the kids too?  Why not get paid 24/7?  Get paid whether you work or not.  Don’t your plants grow even when you aren’t tending to them?  Why not your bank account?
Who cares how many hours you work?  Only a handful of people on this entire planet care how much time you spend at the office.  Most of us won’t even notice whether you work 6 hours a week or 60.  But if you have something of value to provide that matters to us, a number of us will be happy to pull out our wallets and pay you for it.  We don’t care about your time — we only care enough to pay for the value we receive.  Do you really care how long it took me to write this article?  Would you pay me twice as much if it took me 6 hours vs. only 3?
Non-dummies often start out on the traditional income for dummies path.  So don’t feel bad if you’re just now realizing you’ve been suckered.  Non-dummies eventually realize that trading time for money is indeed extremely dumb and that there must be a better way.  And of course there is a better way.  The key is to de-couple your value from your time.
Smart people build systems that generate income 24/7, especially passive income.  This can include starting a business, building a web site, becoming an investor, or generating royalty income from creative work.  The system delivers the ongoing value to people and generates income from it, and once it’s in motion, it runs continuously whether you tend to it or not.  From that moment on, the bulk of your time can be invested in increasing your income (by refining your system or spawning new ones) instead of merely maintaining your income.
This web site is an example of such a system.  At the time of this writing, it generates about $9000 a month in income for me (update: $40,000 a month as of 10/31/06), and it isn’t my only income stream either.  I write each article just once (fixed time investment), and people can extract value from them year after year.  The web server delivers the value, and other systems (most of which I didn’t even build and don’t even understand) collect income and deposit it automatically into my bank account.  It’s not perfectly passive, but I love writing and would do it for free anyway.  But of course it cost me a lot of money to launch this business, right?  Um, yeah, $9 is an awful lot these days (to register the domain name).  Everything after that was profit.
Sure it takes some upfront time and effort to design and implement your own income-generating systems.  But you don’t have to reinvent the wheel — feel free to use existing systems like ad networks and affiliate programs.  Once you get going, you won’t have to work so many hours to support yourself.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be out having dinner with your spouse, knowing that while you’re eating, you’re earning money?  If you want to keep working long hours because you enjoy it, go right ahead.  If you want to sit around doing nothing, feel free.  As long as your system continues delivering value to others, you’ll keep getting paid whether you’re working or not.
Your local bookstore is filled with books containing workable systems others have already designed, tested, and debugged.  Nobody is born knowing how to start a business or generate investment income, but you can easily learn it.  How long it takes you to figure it out is irrelevant because the time is going to pass anyway.  You might as well emerge at some future point as the owner of income-generating systems as opposed to a lifelong wage slave.  This isn’t all or nothing.  If your system only generates a few hundred dollars a month, that’s a significant step in the right direction.

2. Limited experience.

You might think it’s important to get a job to gain experience.  But that’s like saying you should play golf to get experience playing golf.  You gain experience from living, regardless of whether you have a job or not.  A job only gives you experience at that job, but you gain ”experience” doing just about anything, so that’s no real benefit at all.  Sit around doing nothing for a couple years, and you can call yourself an experienced meditator, philosopher, or politician.
The problem with getting experience from a job is that you usually just repeat the same limited experience over and over.  You learn a lot in the beginning and then stagnate.  This forces you to miss other experiences that would be much more valuable.  And if your limited skill set ever becomes obsolete, then your experience won’t be worth squat.  In fact, ask yourself what the experience you’re gaining right now will be worth in 20-30 years.  Will your job even exist then?
Consider this.  Which experience would you rather gain?  The knowledge of how to do a specific job really well — one that you can only monetize by trading your time for money – or the knowledge of how to enjoy financial abundance for the rest of your life without ever needing a job again?  Now I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the latter experience.  That seems a lot more useful in the real world, wouldn’t you say?

3. Lifelong domestication.

Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program.  You learn how to be a good pet.
Look around you.  Really look.  What do you see?  Are these the surroundings of a free human being?  Or are you living in a cage for unconscious animals?  Have you fallen in love with the color beige?
How’s your obedience training coming along?  Does your master reward your good behavior?  Do you get disciplined if you fail to obey your master’s commands?
Is there any spark of free will left inside you?  Or has your conditioning made you a pet for life?
Humans are not meant to be raised in cages.  You poor thing…

4. Too many mouths to feed.

Employee income is the most heavily taxed there is.  In the USA you can expect that about half your salary will go to taxes.  The tax system is designed to disguise how much you’re really giving up because some of those taxes are paid by your employer, and some are deducted from your paycheck.  But you can bet that from your employer’s perspective, all of those taxes are considered part of your pay, as well as any other compensation you receive such as benefits.  Even the rent for the office space you consume is considered, so you must generate that much more value to cover it.  You might feel supported by your corporate environment, but keep in mind that you’re the one paying for it.
Another chunk of your income goes to owners and investors.  That’s a lot of mouths to feed.
It isn’t hard to understand why employees pay the most in taxes relative to their income.  After all, who has more control over the tax system?  Business owners and investors or employees?
You only get paid a fraction of the real value you generate.  Your real salary may be more than triple what you’re paid, but most of that money you’ll never see.  It goes straight into other people’s pockets.
What a generous person you are!

5. Way too risky.

Many employees believe getting a job is the safest and most secure way to support themselves.
Morons.
Social conditioning is amazing.  It’s so good it can even make people believe the exact opposite of the truth.
Does putting yourself in a position where someone else can turn off all your income just by saying two words (“You’re fired”) sound like a safe and secure situation to you?  Does having only one income stream honestly sound more secure than having 10?
The idea that a job is the most secure way to generate income is just silly.  You can’t have security if you don’t have control, and employees have the least control of anyone.  If you’re an employee, then your real job title should be professional gambler.

6. Having an evil bovine master.

When you run into an idiot in the entrepreneurial world, you can turn around and head the other way.  When you run into an idiot in the corporate world, you have to turn around and say, “Sorry, boss.”
Did you know that the word boss comes from the Dutch word baas, which historically means master?  Another meaning of the word boss is “a cow or bovine.”  And in many video games, the boss is the evil dude that you have to kill at the end of a level.
So if your boss is really your evil bovine master, then what does that make you?  Nothing but a turd in the herd.
Who’s your daddy?

7. Begging for money.

When you want to increase your income, do you have to sit up and beg your master for more money?  Does it feel good to be thrown some extra Scooby Snacks now and then?
Or are you free to decide how much you get paid without needing anyone’s permission but your own?
If you have a business and one customer says “no” to you, you simply say “next.”

8. An inbred social life.

Many people treat their jobs as their primary social outlet.  They hang out with the same people working in the same field.  Such incestuous relations are social dead ends.  An exciting day includes deep conversations about the company’s switch from Sparkletts to Arrowhead, the delay of Microsoft’s latest operating system, and the unexpected delivery of more Bic pens.  Consider what it would be like to go outside and talk to strangers.  Ooooh… scary!  Better stay inside where it’s safe.
If one of your co-slaves gets sold to another master, do you lose a friend?  If you work in a male-dominated field, does that mean you never get to talk to women above the rank of receptionist?  Why not decide for yourself whom to socialize with instead of letting your master decide for you?  Believe it or not, there are locations on this planet where free people congregate.  Just be wary of those jobless folk — they’re a crazy bunch!

9. Loss of freedom.

It takes a lot of effort to tame a human being into an employee.  The first thing you have to do is break the human’s independent will.  A good way to do this is to give them a weighty policy manual filled with nonsensical rules and regulations.  This leads the new employee to become more obedient, fearing that s/he could be disciplined at any minute for something incomprehensible.  Thus, the employee will likely conclude it’s safest to simply obey the master’s commands without question.  Stir in some office politics for good measure, and we’ve got a freshly minted mind slave.
As part of their obedience training, employees must be taught how to dress, talk, move, and so on.  We can’t very well have employees thinking for themselves, now can we?  That would ruin everything.
God forbid you should put a plant on your desk when it’s against the company policy.  Oh no, it’s the end of the world!  Cindy has a plant on her desk!  Summon the enforcers!  Send Cindy back for another round of sterility training!
Free human beings think such rules and regulations are silly of course.  The only policy they need is:  “Be smart.  Be nice.  Do what you love.  Have fun.”

10. Becoming a coward.

Have you noticed that employed people have an almost endless capacity to whine about problems at their companies?  But they don’t really want solutions – they just want to vent and make excuses why it’s all someone else’s fault.  It’s as if getting a job somehow drains all the free will out of people and turns them into spineless cowards.  If you can’t call your boss a jerk now and then without fear of getting fired, you’re no longer free.  You’ve become your master’s property.
When you work around cowards all day long, don’t you think it’s going to rub off on you?  Of course it will.  It’s only a matter of time before you sacrifice the noblest parts of your humanity on the altar of fear:  first courage… then honesty… then honor and integrity… and finally your independent will.  You sold your humanity for nothing but an illusion.  And now your greatest fear is discovering the truth of what you’ve become.

10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

Just for fun I recently asked Erin, “Now that the kids are in summer school, don’t you think it’s about time you went out and got yourself a job?  I hate seeing you wallow in unemployment for so long.”
She smiled and said, “Wow.  I have been unemployed a really long time.  That’s weird…  I like it!”
Neither of us have had jobs since the ’90s (my only job was in 1992), so we’ve been self-employed for quite a while.  In our household it’s a running joke for one of us to say to the other, “Maybe you should get a job, derelict!”
It’s like the scene in The Three Stooges where Moe tells Curly to get a job, and Curly backs away, saying, “No, please… not that!  Anything but that!”
It’s funny that when people reach a certain age, such as after graduating college, they assume it’s time to go out and get a job.  But like many things the masses do, just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.  In fact, if you’re reasonably intelligent, getting a job is one of the worst things you can do to support yourself.  There are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.
Here are some reasons you should do everything in your power to avoid getting a job:

1. Income for dummies.

Getting a job and trading your time for money may seem like a good idea.  There’s only one problem with it.  It’s stupid!  It’s the stupidest way you can possibly generate income!  This is truly income for dummies.
Why is getting a job so dumb?  Because you only get paid when you’re working.  Don’t you see a problem with that, or have you been so thoroughly brainwashed into thinking it’s reasonable and intelligent to only earn income when you’re working?  Have you never considered that it might be better to be paid even when you’re not working?  Who taught you that you could only earn income while working?  Some other brainwashed employee perhaps?
Don’t you think your life would be much easier if you got paid while you were eating, sleeping, and playing with the kids too?  Why not get paid 24/7?  Get paid whether you work or not.  Don’t your plants grow even when you aren’t tending to them?  Why not your bank account?
Who cares how many hours you work?  Only a handful of people on this entire planet care how much time you spend at the office.  Most of us won’t even notice whether you work 6 hours a week or 60.  But if you have something of value to provide that matters to us, a number of us will be happy to pull out our wallets and pay you for it.  We don’t care about your time — we only care enough to pay for the value we receive.  Do you really care how long it took me to write this article?  Would you pay me twice as much if it took me 6 hours vs. only 3?
Non-dummies often start out on the traditional income for dummies path.  So don’t feel bad if you’re just now realizing you’ve been suckered.  Non-dummies eventually realize that trading time for money is indeed extremely dumb and that there must be a better way.  And of course there is a better way.  The key is to de-couple your value from your time.
Smart people build systems that generate income 24/7, especially passive income.  This can include starting a business, building a web site, becoming an investor, or generating royalty income from creative work.  The system delivers the ongoing value to people and generates income from it, and once it’s in motion, it runs continuously whether you tend to it or not.  From that moment on, the bulk of your time can be invested in increasing your income (by refining your system or spawning new ones) instead of merely maintaining your income.
This web site is an example of such a system.  At the time of this writing, it generates about $9000 a month in income for me (update: $40,000 a month as of 10/31/06), and it isn’t my only income stream either.  I write each article just once (fixed time investment), and people can extract value from them year after year.  The web server delivers the value, and other systems (most of which I didn’t even build and don’t even understand) collect income and deposit it automatically into my bank account.  It’s not perfectly passive, but I love writing and would do it for free anyway.  But of course it cost me a lot of money to launch this business, right?  Um, yeah, $9 is an awful lot these days (to register the domain name).  Everything after that was profit.
Sure it takes some upfront time and effort to design and implement your own income-generating systems.  But you don’t have to reinvent the wheel — feel free to use existing systems like ad networks and affiliate programs.  Once you get going, you won’t have to work so many hours to support yourself.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be out having dinner with your spouse, knowing that while you’re eating, you’re earning money?  If you want to keep working long hours because you enjoy it, go right ahead.  If you want to sit around doing nothing, feel free.  As long as your system continues delivering value to others, you’ll keep getting paid whether you’re working or not.
Your local bookstore is filled with books containing workable systems others have already designed, tested, and debugged.  Nobody is born knowing how to start a business or generate investment income, but you can easily learn it.  How long it takes you to figure it out is irrelevant because the time is going to pass anyway.  You might as well emerge at some future point as the owner of income-generating systems as opposed to a lifelong wage slave.  This isn’t all or nothing.  If your system only generates a few hundred dollars a month, that’s a significant step in the right direction.

2. Limited experience.

You might think it’s important to get a job to gain experience.  But that’s like saying you should play golf to get experience playing golf.  You gain experience from living, regardless of whether you have a job or not.  A job only gives you experience at that job, but you gain ”experience” doing just about anything, so that’s no real benefit at all.  Sit around doing nothing for a couple years, and you can call yourself an experienced meditator, philosopher, or politician.
The problem with getting experience from a job is that you usually just repeat the same limited experience over and over.  You learn a lot in the beginning and then stagnate.  This forces you to miss other experiences that would be much more valuable.  And if your limited skill set ever becomes obsolete, then your experience won’t be worth squat.  In fact, ask yourself what the experience you’re gaining right now will be worth in 20-30 years.  Will your job even exist then?
Consider this.  Which experience would you rather gain?  The knowledge of how to do a specific job really well — one that you can only monetize by trading your time for money – or the knowledge of how to enjoy financial abundance for the rest of your life without ever needing a job again?  Now I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the latter experience.  That seems a lot more useful in the real world, wouldn’t you say?

3. Lifelong domestication.

Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program.  You learn how to be a good pet.
Look around you.  Really look.  What do you see?  Are these the surroundings of a free human being?  Or are you living in a cage for unconscious animals?  Have you fallen in love with the color beige?
How’s your obedience training coming along?  Does your master reward your good behavior?  Do you get disciplined if you fail to obey your master’s commands?
Is there any spark of free will left inside you?  Or has your conditioning made you a pet for life?
Humans are not meant to be raised in cages.  You poor thing…

4. Too many mouths to feed.

Employee income is the most heavily taxed there is.  In the USA you can expect that about half your salary will go to taxes.  The tax system is designed to disguise how much you’re really giving up because some of those taxes are paid by your employer, and some are deducted from your paycheck.  But you can bet that from your employer’s perspective, all of those taxes are considered part of your pay, as well as any other compensation you receive such as benefits.  Even the rent for the office space you consume is considered, so you must generate that much more value to cover it.  You might feel supported by your corporate environment, but keep in mind that you’re the one paying for it.
Another chunk of your income goes to owners and investors.  That’s a lot of mouths to feed.
It isn’t hard to understand why employees pay the most in taxes relative to their income.  After all, who has more control over the tax system?  Business owners and investors or employees?
You only get paid a fraction of the real value you generate.  Your real salary may be more than triple what you’re paid, but most of that money you’ll never see.  It goes straight into other people’s pockets.
What a generous person you are!

5. Way too risky.

Many employees believe getting a job is the safest and most secure way to support themselves.
Morons.
Social conditioning is amazing.  It’s so good it can even make people believe the exact opposite of the truth.
Does putting yourself in a position where someone else can turn off all your income just by saying two words (“You’re fired”) sound like a safe and secure situation to you?  Does having only one income stream honestly sound more secure than having 10?
The idea that a job is the most secure way to generate income is just silly.  You can’t have security if you don’t have control, and employees have the least control of anyone.  If you’re an employee, then your real job title should be professional gambler.

6. Having an evil bovine master.

When you run into an idiot in the entrepreneurial world, you can turn around and head the other way.  When you run into an idiot in the corporate world, you have to turn around and say, “Sorry, boss.”
Did you know that the word boss comes from the Dutch word baas, which historically means master?  Another meaning of the word boss is “a cow or bovine.”  And in many video games, the boss is the evil dude that you have to kill at the end of a level.
So if your boss is really your evil bovine master, then what does that make you?  Nothing but a turd in the herd.
Who’s your daddy?

7. Begging for money.

When you want to increase your income, do you have to sit up and beg your master for more money?  Does it feel good to be thrown some extra Scooby Snacks now and then?
Or are you free to decide how much you get paid without needing anyone’s permission but your own?
If you have a business and one customer says “no” to you, you simply say “next.”

8. An inbred social life.

Many people treat their jobs as their primary social outlet.  They hang out with the same people working in the same field.  Such incestuous relations are social dead ends.  An exciting day includes deep conversations about the company’s switch from Sparkletts to Arrowhead, the delay of Microsoft’s latest operating system, and the unexpected delivery of more Bic pens.  Consider what it would be like to go outside and talk to strangers.  Ooooh… scary!  Better stay inside where it’s safe.
If one of your co-slaves gets sold to another master, do you lose a friend?  If you work in a male-dominated field, does that mean you never get to talk to women above the rank of receptionist?  Why not decide for yourself whom to socialize with instead of letting your master decide for you?  Believe it or not, there are locations on this planet where free people congregate.  Just be wary of those jobless folk — they’re a crazy bunch!

9. Loss of freedom.

It takes a lot of effort to tame a human being into an employee.  The first thing you have to do is break the human’s independent will.  A good way to do this is to give them a weighty policy manual filled with nonsensical rules and regulations.  This leads the new employee to become more obedient, fearing that s/he could be disciplined at any minute for something incomprehensible.  Thus, the employee will likely conclude it’s safest to simply obey the master’s commands without question.  Stir in some office politics for good measure, and we’ve got a freshly minted mind slave.
As part of their obedience training, employees must be taught how to dress, talk, move, and so on.  We can’t very well have employees thinking for themselves, now can we?  That would ruin everything.
God forbid you should put a plant on your desk when it’s against the company policy.  Oh no, it’s the end of the world!  Cindy has a plant on her desk!  Summon the enforcers!  Send Cindy back for another round of sterility training!
Free human beings think such rules and regulations are silly of course.  The only policy they need is:  “Be smart.  Be nice.  Do what you love.  Have fun.”

10. Becoming a coward.

Have you noticed that employed people have an almost endless capacity to whine about problems at their companies?  But they don’t really want solutions – they just want to vent and make excuses why it’s all someone else’s fault.  It’s as if getting a job somehow drains all the free will out of people and turns them into spineless cowards.  If you can’t call your boss a jerk now and then without fear of getting fired, you’re no longer free.  You’ve become your master’s property.
When you work around cowards all day long, don’t you think it’s going to rub off on you?  Of course it will.  It’s only a matter of time before you sacrifice the noblest parts of your humanity on the altar of fear:  first courage… then honesty… then honor and integrity… and finally your independent will.  You sold your humanity for nothing but an illusion.  And now your greatest fear is discovering the truth of what you’ve become.

Excellent advice for every couple

1.CHERISH YOUR WIFE. RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND.
The core emotional need of a woman is to be cherished. This is the husband's number one responsibility. That means making her feel loved and appreciated, that she's your number one priority.
A man's core emotional need is to feel respected by his wife. When he comes home, he wants to feel that there is at least one person in the world who thinks he's got what it takes. That means getting off the phone when he walks in the door.

2.TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE GOOD FRIENDS
Under the marriage canopy one of the seven blessings given to the bride and groom is that they should become "beloved friends."
The hallmark of friendship is that each person validates and respects the other person's feelings and needs. Validation means: What's important to you is important to me. It's a key way to make your spouse feel loved.

3. REMEMBER THE FOUR GOLDEN WORDS: LISTEN, COMPROMISE, REPAIR, AND GRATITUDE.
Agree to keep one basic rule at the beginning of your marriage: No matter how upset you are, never launch a verbal attack. Fighting with insults only makes problems worse and erodes the relationship. Instead, implement the four golden words:
Listening: It's essential for working together and solving problems. Allow your spouse to speak without interruption and then repeat what has just been said. This reassures your spouse that he or she was heard.
Compromise: Strive to solve problems where both of you are happy with the solution. Neither one should feel coerced into accepting the other person's point of view.
Repair: When you hurt each other emotionally, repair the breakdown and remove the lingering feelings of anger and resentment. Aim for 100% reconciliation. A little resentment multiplied 50 times can create a wall of bitterness.
Gratitude: You can never say thank you enough to your spouse. Try to notice everything your spouse does for you and acknowledge it with sincere gratitude.
4. ESTABLISH STRONG BOUNDARIES
Your spouse is your number one priority - not your parents, relatives, friends, children, work, or hobbies. Set strong boundaries that show you value your marriage and don't allow anyone or anything to weaken your relationship.
That means meeting your spouse's needs before your parents' needs, coming home with enough time left in the evening to have quality time together, and inviolate date nights.

5. GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE DAILY
Marriage is ultimately about making each other feel good and striving to give your spouse pleasure on a daily basis - on his or her terms. If she says she likes lilies, don't bring her roses because you think they're more romantic.
Learn how your spouse prefers to be given to - whether it's physical affection, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service (like helping out in the house, running errands) or spending quality time - and get in the daily habit of doing it.

Excellent advice for every couple

1.CHERISH YOUR WIFE. RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND.
The core emotional need of a woman is to be cherished. This is the husband's number one responsibility. That means making her feel loved and appreciated, that she's your number one priority.
A man's core emotional need is to feel respected by his wife. When he comes home, he wants to feel that there is at least one person in the world who thinks he's got what it takes. That means getting off the phone when he walks in the door.

2.TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE GOOD FRIENDS
Under the marriage canopy one of the seven blessings given to the bride and groom is that they should become "beloved friends."
The hallmark of friendship is that each person validates and respects the other person's feelings and needs. Validation means: What's important to you is important to me. It's a key way to make your spouse feel loved.

3. REMEMBER THE FOUR GOLDEN WORDS: LISTEN, COMPROMISE, REPAIR, AND GRATITUDE.
Agree to keep one basic rule at the beginning of your marriage: No matter how upset you are, never launch a verbal attack. Fighting with insults only makes problems worse and erodes the relationship. Instead, implement the four golden words:
Listening: It's essential for working together and solving problems. Allow your spouse to speak without interruption and then repeat what has just been said. This reassures your spouse that he or she was heard.
Compromise: Strive to solve problems where both of you are happy with the solution. Neither one should feel coerced into accepting the other person's point of view.
Repair: When you hurt each other emotionally, repair the breakdown and remove the lingering feelings of anger and resentment. Aim for 100% reconciliation. A little resentment multiplied 50 times can create a wall of bitterness.
Gratitude: You can never say thank you enough to your spouse. Try to notice everything your spouse does for you and acknowledge it with sincere gratitude.
4. ESTABLISH STRONG BOUNDARIES
Your spouse is your number one priority - not your parents, relatives, friends, children, work, or hobbies. Set strong boundaries that show you value your marriage and don't allow anyone or anything to weaken your relationship.
That means meeting your spouse's needs before your parents' needs, coming home with enough time left in the evening to have quality time together, and inviolate date nights.

5. GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE DAILY
Marriage is ultimately about making each other feel good and striving to give your spouse pleasure on a daily basis - on his or her terms. If she says she likes lilies, don't bring her roses because you think they're more romantic.
Learn how your spouse prefers to be given to - whether it's physical affection, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service (like helping out in the house, running errands) or spending quality time - and get in the daily habit of doing it.

How to know you're ready to tie the knot.

  

#1: Do We Care about Each Other as Good Friends Do?

When you’re getting serious about someone, don't ask: “Are we in love?” The question to first ask instead is: “Are we becoming good friends?”
“Being in love” often means infatuation, romance, and high chemistry – things that are essentially selfish. This type of “love” is not a good reason to get married, but friendship is. Friendship is not selfish. Real love is about giving to and caring about another person’s life. As Shaya Ostrov says in his book, The Inner Circle, “I’m watching you, hearing you, paying attention to you. I’ve put it all together and have arrived at the conclusion that you and your life means something to me." That’s why the essence of real love is friendship
In a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are given seven blessings. Not once but twice, we bless the couple that they should become “beloved friends.” Make sure you’re friends first and then lovers. A lover who is not your friend can easily hurt you. A friend who is your lover will never hurt you. And if they do, they will make every effort to repair the hurt, just like you do with your best friends. Friends care about each others happiness and well-being.
Related Article: What Is Love?

#2: Are We Emotionally Honest and Vulnerable with Each Other?

Two people who cannot be emotionally open with each other can never have true intimacy and love. When we share our feelings with another we connect and feel close to them.
We tend to be afraid to share what we feel because expressing it makes us vulnerable; it’s dangerous. With the person you’re considering marrying you must be sure you feel safe.
How do you know if the two of you are emotionally open and honest? The next time you have a conversation with your partner, ask him or her, “What do you feel about me right now?” or, “How does what I just said make you feel?” If you can communicate like this with each other consistently, you have the potential for building an intimate relationship.

#3: Do We Consistently Reach Win/Win Resolutions To Our Problems?

To get married, you must be sure you have great communication. The reason is that marriage is nothing but problems! I know this doesn’t sound very romantic, but it’s very realistic. Couples often mistake good chemistry for good communication. Just because you can talk for hours on the phone and feel very connected, doesn’t mean you have good communication. The only way you know if you have good communication is when you have problems. When there is a disagreement of any kind, small or large, this is when you find out how good or how bad your communication is. The essence of good communication is that you can consistently reach win-win solutions to your problems and disagreements. This means when you are finished talking, both of you feel good about the solution. There are no bad feelings on either side.
Problems that don’t get fully resolved turn into resentments. And when resentments build, love departs. The problem is not the problem. The communication about the problem is the problem.

#4: Do We Take Care of Each Other’s Needs?

One of the most important principles of marriage is: If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Taking care of each other’s needs is about wanting to give each other pleasure. Being a giver is probably the most important character trait to have for getting married. People are naturally takers. It takes a great deal of effort to become a genuine giver. Giving in order to get something back is being a taker. .
An important question to ask yourself is, “Do I enjoy giving to this person or do I find it burdensome?” Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, suggests that each of us has a dominant love language or emotional need that makes us feel loved when another “speaks” that language to us. They are: gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. What is your partner’s love language? Do you enjoy taking care of this need? Giving builds love. Taking destroys it.

#5: Do We Admire And Respect Each Other?

We need to respect and admire the person we marry. We respect a person's good character, meaningful aspirations and goals he/she is committed to, and the good deeds he/she has done, not the way he/she looks.
How do you talk to each other? If you truly respect someone, you talk to that person with respect and dignity. Do you criticize or put each other down? Are you patient or impatient with each other? Do you make jokes about the other person in front of others and then try to cover it by saying, “I was only joking?”
One of the biggest ways that couples demonstrate a lack of respect for each other is by playing games. Playing games is immature and childish. Mature people who respect each other don’t play games. They are consistently up front, open, and honest.

#6: For rhe Man: Are You Ready to Take Responsibility for a Wife and Family?

When my three sons told me they wanted to get married, the first question I asked each of them was, “Are you ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of a wife and family?" If you're not ready to be fully responsible, you're not ready to get married. For a man marriage isn’t about getting his needs met. It’s about taking on responsibility and being a giver. Judaism understands that the essence of being a man is to give and provide. Boys are takers. men are givers. Are you ready to be a man?
The strongest need of a woman is to be cherished. The three A’s of cherishing a woman are: Attention, affection, and appreciation. Neglect destroys a woman’s spirit. Making your wife feel loved and cherished is not just a nice idea; it's a Torah obligation.

#7: For the Woman: Do You Believe in Him?

Your man needs your respect and support. He needs you to believe in him. Men today are under so much pressure and so many demands are being made of them. The one place he doesn’t need to feel more pressure is at home. He needs you to believe that he is trying hard to provide for you and the needs of the family. The cruelest thing a wife can do is nag her husband. If he’s a good man and he’s trying hard, give him your love, not your list of demands. So before you commit your life to him, make sure you don’t have any hidden agenda or unexpressed expectations. Be up front. And if you decide to be his wife, then be his friend as well. Don’t turn on him.

#8: Do I Trust This Person Completely?

The emotional foundation of love is trust. Without complete trust, you can’t build love. (I highly recommend Dr.John Gottman’s new book, The Science of Trust.) The essential issue of trust is captured in the question, “Are you there for me?” A solid marriage is built on solid trust. Can I trust that you will provide a safe home for my feelings and needs? Can I be sure I can be vulnerable with you? Am I afraid you will abandon, reject, or shame me?
A key way to build trust is by respecting and validating another person’s feelings. Listening to another person’s feelings is one of the greatest acts of kindness we can perform. If you don’t trust each other with your feelings, think twice about getting married.

#9: Do We Want the Same Things Out of Life?

One of two things happens in a marriage: People either grow together or grow apart. Spiritual compatibility is one of the best ways to insure you’ll grow together. This means you are on the same page in terms of your values, priorities, and life goals. Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of blessed memory, would often teach that life’s most important question is “What am I living for?” He maintained that until you can answer this question, you have no business getting married. A soul mate is a goal mate. Marriage is risky. Two people who don’t know what they’re living for may have a difficult time growing together and staying together over the long run.

#10: Do I Have Peace of Mind About This Decision?

To have peace of mind you have to identify and resolve the things that bother you about getting married or about marrying this person. To identify everything that bothers you, you must be ruthlessly honest with yourself and listen to your feelings. If you don’t have peace of mind about marrying this person, track down the reason. If you are diligent, you'll discover the reason why you are dragging your feet. And if you can’t track it down through your own efforts, see a competent therapist to help you

How to know you're ready to tie the knot.

  

#1: Do We Care about Each Other as Good Friends Do?

When you’re getting serious about someone, don't ask: “Are we in love?” The question to first ask instead is: “Are we becoming good friends?”
“Being in love” often means infatuation, romance, and high chemistry – things that are essentially selfish. This type of “love” is not a good reason to get married, but friendship is. Friendship is not selfish. Real love is about giving to and caring about another person’s life. As Shaya Ostrov says in his book, The Inner Circle, “I’m watching you, hearing you, paying attention to you. I’ve put it all together and have arrived at the conclusion that you and your life means something to me." That’s why the essence of real love is friendship
In a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are given seven blessings. Not once but twice, we bless the couple that they should become “beloved friends.” Make sure you’re friends first and then lovers. A lover who is not your friend can easily hurt you. A friend who is your lover will never hurt you. And if they do, they will make every effort to repair the hurt, just like you do with your best friends. Friends care about each others happiness and well-being.
Related Article: What Is Love?

#2: Are We Emotionally Honest and Vulnerable with Each Other?

Two people who cannot be emotionally open with each other can never have true intimacy and love. When we share our feelings with another we connect and feel close to them.
We tend to be afraid to share what we feel because expressing it makes us vulnerable; it’s dangerous. With the person you’re considering marrying you must be sure you feel safe.
How do you know if the two of you are emotionally open and honest? The next time you have a conversation with your partner, ask him or her, “What do you feel about me right now?” or, “How does what I just said make you feel?” If you can communicate like this with each other consistently, you have the potential for building an intimate relationship.

#3: Do We Consistently Reach Win/Win Resolutions To Our Problems?

To get married, you must be sure you have great communication. The reason is that marriage is nothing but problems! I know this doesn’t sound very romantic, but it’s very realistic. Couples often mistake good chemistry for good communication. Just because you can talk for hours on the phone and feel very connected, doesn’t mean you have good communication. The only way you know if you have good communication is when you have problems. When there is a disagreement of any kind, small or large, this is when you find out how good or how bad your communication is. The essence of good communication is that you can consistently reach win-win solutions to your problems and disagreements. This means when you are finished talking, both of you feel good about the solution. There are no bad feelings on either side.
Problems that don’t get fully resolved turn into resentments. And when resentments build, love departs. The problem is not the problem. The communication about the problem is the problem.

#4: Do We Take Care of Each Other’s Needs?

One of the most important principles of marriage is: If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Taking care of each other’s needs is about wanting to give each other pleasure. Being a giver is probably the most important character trait to have for getting married. People are naturally takers. It takes a great deal of effort to become a genuine giver. Giving in order to get something back is being a taker. .
An important question to ask yourself is, “Do I enjoy giving to this person or do I find it burdensome?” Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, suggests that each of us has a dominant love language or emotional need that makes us feel loved when another “speaks” that language to us. They are: gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. What is your partner’s love language? Do you enjoy taking care of this need? Giving builds love. Taking destroys it.

#5: Do We Admire And Respect Each Other?

We need to respect and admire the person we marry. We respect a person's good character, meaningful aspirations and goals he/she is committed to, and the good deeds he/she has done, not the way he/she looks.
How do you talk to each other? If you truly respect someone, you talk to that person with respect and dignity. Do you criticize or put each other down? Are you patient or impatient with each other? Do you make jokes about the other person in front of others and then try to cover it by saying, “I was only joking?”
One of the biggest ways that couples demonstrate a lack of respect for each other is by playing games. Playing games is immature and childish. Mature people who respect each other don’t play games. They are consistently up front, open, and honest.

#6: For rhe Man: Are You Ready to Take Responsibility for a Wife and Family?

When my three sons told me they wanted to get married, the first question I asked each of them was, “Are you ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of a wife and family?" If you're not ready to be fully responsible, you're not ready to get married. For a man marriage isn’t about getting his needs met. It’s about taking on responsibility and being a giver. Judaism understands that the essence of being a man is to give and provide. Boys are takers. men are givers. Are you ready to be a man?
The strongest need of a woman is to be cherished. The three A’s of cherishing a woman are: Attention, affection, and appreciation. Neglect destroys a woman’s spirit. Making your wife feel loved and cherished is not just a nice idea; it's a Torah obligation.

#7: For the Woman: Do You Believe in Him?

Your man needs your respect and support. He needs you to believe in him. Men today are under so much pressure and so many demands are being made of them. The one place he doesn’t need to feel more pressure is at home. He needs you to believe that he is trying hard to provide for you and the needs of the family. The cruelest thing a wife can do is nag her husband. If he’s a good man and he’s trying hard, give him your love, not your list of demands. So before you commit your life to him, make sure you don’t have any hidden agenda or unexpressed expectations. Be up front. And if you decide to be his wife, then be his friend as well. Don’t turn on him.

#8: Do I Trust This Person Completely?

The emotional foundation of love is trust. Without complete trust, you can’t build love. (I highly recommend Dr.John Gottman’s new book, The Science of Trust.) The essential issue of trust is captured in the question, “Are you there for me?” A solid marriage is built on solid trust. Can I trust that you will provide a safe home for my feelings and needs? Can I be sure I can be vulnerable with you? Am I afraid you will abandon, reject, or shame me?
A key way to build trust is by respecting and validating another person’s feelings. Listening to another person’s feelings is one of the greatest acts of kindness we can perform. If you don’t trust each other with your feelings, think twice about getting married.

#9: Do We Want the Same Things Out of Life?

One of two things happens in a marriage: People either grow together or grow apart. Spiritual compatibility is one of the best ways to insure you’ll grow together. This means you are on the same page in terms of your values, priorities, and life goals. Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of blessed memory, would often teach that life’s most important question is “What am I living for?” He maintained that until you can answer this question, you have no business getting married. A soul mate is a goal mate. Marriage is risky. Two people who don’t know what they’re living for may have a difficult time growing together and staying together over the long run.

#10: Do I Have Peace of Mind About This Decision?

To have peace of mind you have to identify and resolve the things that bother you about getting married or about marrying this person. To identify everything that bothers you, you must be ruthlessly honest with yourself and listen to your feelings. If you don’t have peace of mind about marrying this person, track down the reason. If you are diligent, you'll discover the reason why you are dragging your feet. And if you can’t track it down through your own efforts, see a competent therapist to help you

Sex During Pregnancy Is Safe and Normal

Having sex during pregnancy may be the last thing on a woman’s—or man’s—mind, but for many couples, the desire and need for sexual intimacy is just as strong, or stronger, than ever. But is it safe? A new study puts to bed the concerns about safety to mother and child regarding sex during pregnancy.

 

Sex during pregnancy has few risks

According to the authors of a new primer for doctors, “Sex in pregnancy is normal,” and “There are very few proven contraindications and risks to intercourse in low-risk pregnancies, and therefore these patients should be reassured.” The study appears in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.
Reassurance or not, during the first trimester many women experience the typical symptoms of pregnancy, including nausea, vomiting, and fatigue, which may make them not feel amorous. However, according to Monica Foreman (now Foreman-Hyacinthe), MD, an obstetrician at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, during the second trimester, women “are feeling better, there is more lubrication, and they have engorgement in the genital area,” in a WebMD article.
In the new report, Dr. Clair Jones, Department of Obstetrics, Mount Sinai Hospital and University of Toronto, and her coauthors point out there are potential but uncommon risks of engaging in sexual intercourse during pregnancy, including premature labor, pelvic inflammatory disease, blood clots, and bleeding in the placenta previa (when the placenta grows in the lower uterus and covers part of the cervix).
They noted that evidence to restrict sexual intercourse for women who are at risk of premature labor is limited and contradictory, and that frequent intercourse was found to be associated with a greater risk of premature labor only in women who had lower genital tract infections.
Although women who are carrying more than one baby, who have a history of premature labor, or who have placenta previa are at higher risk of premature labor, even then “there is no evidence to suggest a clear benefit from restricted sexual activity.” Jones does note, however, that abstinence “may be a reasonable recommendation until better evidence emerges.”
In addition, the authors point out there is no evidence that having sex or orgasm at term will induce labor. The bottom line is that sex during pregnancy can be safe, it is normal, and that pregnant women and their partners should use comfort and readiness as their barometer. Women who have any concerns should consult their physician.

Sex During Pregnancy Is Safe and Normal

Having sex during pregnancy may be the last thing on a woman’s—or man’s—mind, but for many couples, the desire and need for sexual intimacy is just as strong, or stronger, than ever. But is it safe? A new study puts to bed the concerns about safety to mother and child regarding sex during pregnancy.

 

Sex during pregnancy has few risks

According to the authors of a new primer for doctors, “Sex in pregnancy is normal,” and “There are very few proven contraindications and risks to intercourse in low-risk pregnancies, and therefore these patients should be reassured.” The study appears in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.
Reassurance or not, during the first trimester many women experience the typical symptoms of pregnancy, including nausea, vomiting, and fatigue, which may make them not feel amorous. However, according to Monica Foreman (now Foreman-Hyacinthe), MD, an obstetrician at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, during the second trimester, women “are feeling better, there is more lubrication, and they have engorgement in the genital area,” in a WebMD article.
In the new report, Dr. Clair Jones, Department of Obstetrics, Mount Sinai Hospital and University of Toronto, and her coauthors point out there are potential but uncommon risks of engaging in sexual intercourse during pregnancy, including premature labor, pelvic inflammatory disease, blood clots, and bleeding in the placenta previa (when the placenta grows in the lower uterus and covers part of the cervix).
They noted that evidence to restrict sexual intercourse for women who are at risk of premature labor is limited and contradictory, and that frequent intercourse was found to be associated with a greater risk of premature labor only in women who had lower genital tract infections.
Although women who are carrying more than one baby, who have a history of premature labor, or who have placenta previa are at higher risk of premature labor, even then “there is no evidence to suggest a clear benefit from restricted sexual activity.” Jones does note, however, that abstinence “may be a reasonable recommendation until better evidence emerges.”
In addition, the authors point out there is no evidence that having sex or orgasm at term will induce labor. The bottom line is that sex during pregnancy can be safe, it is normal, and that pregnant women and their partners should use comfort and readiness as their barometer. Women who have any concerns should consult their physician.

Seven IMPORTANT Steps to Get a Girlfriend:

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 1) Do not set out to find a girlfriend!

If your priority is solely to get your itch scratched (sexually speaking), you're going to find that you'll scare off a LOT of people.

Your GOAL is not to get a girlfriend, even though you think it is. Your goal is not the END, it's simply the NEXT STEP in the process.

Your goal is to improve your social network - which is like creating a nice strong safety net.

It lowers your loneliness quotient, and it increases your ability to find a good woman in the long run.

A good investigator doesn't look directly for the criminal.

They look for the indicators and evidence that leads them to their most wanted.

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 2) Adopt the attitude of the Interviewer...

QUALIFICATION, Qualification, qualification.

It's all about qualification, my friend. The only way you can maintain a strong and confident attitude out there is to be the chooser - not the chosen.

Think about the difference in these two people: The Interviewer and the Interviewee.

Between being the guy going in and kissing ass and selling yourself to the company to get a job, and being the guy who chooses from them.

If you've ever done the interviewing, you know what it's like. You feel like THE MAN with all the power. It's kind of a rush.

Well, the difference in mindset between the guy that goes out trying to get women interested in him and the guy that goes out to see if any women can impress him is like NIGHT and DAY.

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 3) Become a Social Strategist...

Network the hell out of your life.

You need to really sit down and think about who you know, and who they know. And then start getting on their social calendars, one at a time.

Here's a technique that works like a champ. (It's something I'm going to be talking more about in my upcoming program coming in a few months.)

First, just connect with everyone in your network of friends.

Get together with them, have a drink or a lunch, and just reconnect. Make it a point to develop more of a rapport-connection with them, and then get them to think about you whenever they're holding a party or going to a party.

Say something like:

"Hey, this has been great catching up with you, John. By the way, I'm on this kick lately of just going out and socializing, and making sure all my friends have fun. So if you have any parties or social gatherings, drop me a line if you think it would be fun."

Give him your email, give him your cell phone and give him your facebook address. Better yet, have a card made up with JUST this information on it and your first name.

Ba-da-bing. You're now in his loop of social networking. From there, you just bust it out to the next level by making friends with people at every gathering you attend.

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 4) Multiple Streams of Female Income

This is one of the core strategies of my method, and that is that you cannot afford to rely on any ONE method of meeting women. Mostly because if you fail to get that one method to work for you the way you want it to, you'll get blown out of the game, and you're socially dead in the water.

AND your attitude will suffer along with your success.

Dating is EXACTLY like owning stocks - you never put all your eggs in ONE basket. Back when the dot-com bust happened in 2001-2002, all the people who were heavily invested in technology stocks took a serious bath.

Universal rule: Diversify!

Spread your risk over a few good methods and you won't get burned.

(I just watched "Wall Street" again the other day, can you tell?)

Don't go too nuts, because you won't get good at any of them if you do too many, but just pick your top 5 - and then work them like dogs. That's how to get a girlfriend - and FAST.

My top picks?

- Speed dating

- Online dating

- Social networking

- Parties and social events

- Daytime approach

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 5) Know what kind of a woman you really want.

You have to know the exact qualities you're looking for in order to choose a good woman. There are many traits you need to create a good relationship with her - especially if you want to keep her.

One thing you'll see that most pickup artists DO NOT have is the ability to keep a relationship going. They can pickup a woman in a bar, but if you ask them how to get a girlfriend - one that lasts - they'll just tell you to go take another class.

I've been in relationships that lasted from 30 minutes to 5 years, so I do know how to keep a good woman around.

First and foremost is to know WHAT you want, and sometimes that means...

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 6) Date ENOUGH women to know what you really want.

A lot of guys don't date enough women to figure out the qualities that they really want.

In fact, I've never met a guy who dated a lot of women, and then said that he still wants the same things in a woman that he wanted when he first started.

After dating a bunch of women, you start to realize that many of the things you THOUGHT you wanted weren't as important as you thought. And you discover all-new things you really do need.

The big mistake most people (men and women) make is to be in a hurry to get into a relationship because they can't stand dating. It's so painful for these guys to be single that they fall into the first relationship that comes along.

And so they never develop dating skills, they just hope to find someone good before the bad women find them first.

But this is a lot like taking the first job you can get, just to get a job - even though you're not sure you're going to like it. Sure, you may have employment, but you'll just be miserable if you don't make a good choice. And eventually you'll either be fired or quit.

The same is DOUBLY true for women.

Choose poorly and you're going to be a hell of a lot more miserable IN a relationship than out of one.

Remember my universal rule: You're better off alone than with the wrong woman.

A woman has only one role in my life: To make me happier than I was without her. If she isn't doing that, she isn't what I want in a girlfriend.

And neither do you!

And here's the last rule that will guarantee you'll get a girlfriend in no time flat - IF you just use it.

If you want to know how to get a girlfriend - and how I've done it in my life without having to resort to mail-order brides, it's simply this:

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 7) Get out there and meet as many people as you possibly can.

I've moved around the country and I've started my life over again 3 times. I moved from upstate New York, to Washington, DC, to Kansas City, to San Francisco. Each time I had to make all new friends.

I learned something that has made all the difference between being lonely and being socially prosperous, and that's this:

If you meet a bunch of people,

... some you will never see again.

Some you will turn into acquaintances.

Some you will turn into friends.

Some you will do business with.

Some you will turn into girlfriends.

But the more people you meet, the more you get of every kind. It's a statistical and social CERTAINTY.

Just like the "Sales Funnel," where you put a hundred people in at the top, and only a few come out the bottom as buyers, so it is in your social life.

It's the most obvious law of numbers there is, and it simply demands that you just get off your ass right now and go meet some new people.

And here's the amazing thing - it doesn't matter HOW you meet them!

Nor does it matter WHO you meet. You can meet old women who will set you up with their daughters or even their grand-daughters.

You'll meet women who introduce you to their cool guy friends, who will then introduce you to an ex-girlfriend or a cousin or a sister's best friends' nanny, who could be your next girlfriend.

You simply DO NOT KNOW how you will get your next girlfriend.

If you want to know my advice on how to get a girlfriend, that's it. Pure and simple.

Treat it like a life-puzzle that you have to figure out. If you can just meet a few people each week, your life will be filled with an abundance that will ASTONISH you.

It will amaze you.

I guarantee it...

If you want to learn the core skills of pickup and attracting women, you owe it to yourself to take a look at my latest fast-start program. Even if the stock market is crazy and unpredictable, one thing is still the same: You can improve your skills with women in just a few hours - and for less that it would cost you for your next date.

The one sure fire way to keep a woman attracted to you is to show her an Alpha Male that has the confidence and attitude that women want...

Seven IMPORTANT Steps to Get a Girlfriend:

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 1) Do not set out to find a girlfriend!

If your priority is solely to get your itch scratched (sexually speaking), you're going to find that you'll scare off a LOT of people.

Your GOAL is not to get a girlfriend, even though you think it is. Your goal is not the END, it's simply the NEXT STEP in the process.

Your goal is to improve your social network - which is like creating a nice strong safety net.

It lowers your loneliness quotient, and it increases your ability to find a good woman in the long run.

A good investigator doesn't look directly for the criminal.

They look for the indicators and evidence that leads them to their most wanted.

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 2) Adopt the attitude of the Interviewer...

QUALIFICATION, Qualification, qualification.

It's all about qualification, my friend. The only way you can maintain a strong and confident attitude out there is to be the chooser - not the chosen.

Think about the difference in these two people: The Interviewer and the Interviewee.

Between being the guy going in and kissing ass and selling yourself to the company to get a job, and being the guy who chooses from them.

If you've ever done the interviewing, you know what it's like. You feel like THE MAN with all the power. It's kind of a rush.

Well, the difference in mindset between the guy that goes out trying to get women interested in him and the guy that goes out to see if any women can impress him is like NIGHT and DAY.

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 3) Become a Social Strategist...

Network the hell out of your life.

You need to really sit down and think about who you know, and who they know. And then start getting on their social calendars, one at a time.

Here's a technique that works like a champ. (It's something I'm going to be talking more about in my upcoming program coming in a few months.)

First, just connect with everyone in your network of friends.

Get together with them, have a drink or a lunch, and just reconnect. Make it a point to develop more of a rapport-connection with them, and then get them to think about you whenever they're holding a party or going to a party.

Say something like:

"Hey, this has been great catching up with you, John. By the way, I'm on this kick lately of just going out and socializing, and making sure all my friends have fun. So if you have any parties or social gatherings, drop me a line if you think it would be fun."

Give him your email, give him your cell phone and give him your facebook address. Better yet, have a card made up with JUST this information on it and your first name.

Ba-da-bing. You're now in his loop of social networking. From there, you just bust it out to the next level by making friends with people at every gathering you attend.

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 4) Multiple Streams of Female Income

This is one of the core strategies of my method, and that is that you cannot afford to rely on any ONE method of meeting women. Mostly because if you fail to get that one method to work for you the way you want it to, you'll get blown out of the game, and you're socially dead in the water.

AND your attitude will suffer along with your success.

Dating is EXACTLY like owning stocks - you never put all your eggs in ONE basket. Back when the dot-com bust happened in 2001-2002, all the people who were heavily invested in technology stocks took a serious bath.

Universal rule: Diversify!

Spread your risk over a few good methods and you won't get burned.

(I just watched "Wall Street" again the other day, can you tell?)

Don't go too nuts, because you won't get good at any of them if you do too many, but just pick your top 5 - and then work them like dogs. That's how to get a girlfriend - and FAST.

My top picks?

- Speed dating

- Online dating

- Social networking

- Parties and social events

- Daytime approach

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 5) Know what kind of a woman you really want.

You have to know the exact qualities you're looking for in order to choose a good woman. There are many traits you need to create a good relationship with her - especially if you want to keep her.

One thing you'll see that most pickup artists DO NOT have is the ability to keep a relationship going. They can pickup a woman in a bar, but if you ask them how to get a girlfriend - one that lasts - they'll just tell you to go take another class.

I've been in relationships that lasted from 30 minutes to 5 years, so I do know how to keep a good woman around.

First and foremost is to know WHAT you want, and sometimes that means...

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 6) Date ENOUGH women to know what you really want.

A lot of guys don't date enough women to figure out the qualities that they really want.

In fact, I've never met a guy who dated a lot of women, and then said that he still wants the same things in a woman that he wanted when he first started.

After dating a bunch of women, you start to realize that many of the things you THOUGHT you wanted weren't as important as you thought. And you discover all-new things you really do need.

The big mistake most people (men and women) make is to be in a hurry to get into a relationship because they can't stand dating. It's so painful for these guys to be single that they fall into the first relationship that comes along.

And so they never develop dating skills, they just hope to find someone good before the bad women find them first.

But this is a lot like taking the first job you can get, just to get a job - even though you're not sure you're going to like it. Sure, you may have employment, but you'll just be miserable if you don't make a good choice. And eventually you'll either be fired or quit.

The same is DOUBLY true for women.

Choose poorly and you're going to be a hell of a lot more miserable IN a relationship than out of one.

Remember my universal rule: You're better off alone than with the wrong woman.

A woman has only one role in my life: To make me happier than I was without her. If she isn't doing that, she isn't what I want in a girlfriend.

And neither do you!

And here's the last rule that will guarantee you'll get a girlfriend in no time flat - IF you just use it.

If you want to know how to get a girlfriend - and how I've done it in my life without having to resort to mail-order brides, it's simply this:

GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP 7) Get out there and meet as many people as you possibly can.

I've moved around the country and I've started my life over again 3 times. I moved from upstate New York, to Washington, DC, to Kansas City, to San Francisco. Each time I had to make all new friends.

I learned something that has made all the difference between being lonely and being socially prosperous, and that's this:

If you meet a bunch of people,

... some you will never see again.

Some you will turn into acquaintances.

Some you will turn into friends.

Some you will do business with.

Some you will turn into girlfriends.

But the more people you meet, the more you get of every kind. It's a statistical and social CERTAINTY.

Just like the "Sales Funnel," where you put a hundred people in at the top, and only a few come out the bottom as buyers, so it is in your social life.

It's the most obvious law of numbers there is, and it simply demands that you just get off your ass right now and go meet some new people.

And here's the amazing thing - it doesn't matter HOW you meet them!

Nor does it matter WHO you meet. You can meet old women who will set you up with their daughters or even their grand-daughters.

You'll meet women who introduce you to their cool guy friends, who will then introduce you to an ex-girlfriend or a cousin or a sister's best friends' nanny, who could be your next girlfriend.

You simply DO NOT KNOW how you will get your next girlfriend.

If you want to know my advice on how to get a girlfriend, that's it. Pure and simple.

Treat it like a life-puzzle that you have to figure out. If you can just meet a few people each week, your life will be filled with an abundance that will ASTONISH you.

It will amaze you.

I guarantee it...

If you want to learn the core skills of pickup and attracting women, you owe it to yourself to take a look at my latest fast-start program. Even if the stock market is crazy and unpredictable, one thing is still the same: You can improve your skills with women in just a few hours - and for less that it would cost you for your next date.

The one sure fire way to keep a woman attracted to you is to show her an Alpha Male that has the confidence and attitude that women want...

Male sexual problems

It’s estimated that one man in 10 has a problem related to having sex, such as premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Dr John Tomlinson of The Sexual Advice Association explains some of the causes, and where to seek help. 

“Sexual dysfunction in a man is when he's not able to perform properly,” says Dr Tomlinson. “The main problem is being unable to get an erection. It’s much more common than people realise. In the 20-40 age group it affects around 7-8% of men, in the 40-50 age group it affects 11%. In the over-60s it affects 40%, and more than half of men over 70.”
It can affect any man, whether he is straight, gay, bisexual or transgender. Read more about erectile dysfunction (impotence) and premature ejaculation.

Erectile dysfunction (impotence)

This is when a man can’t get, or keep, an erection. Most men experience it at some time in their life. “It only becomes a problem when the man or his partner considers it a problem,” says Dr Tomlinson. 

What causes erectile dysfunction?

“A variety of things cause it. Some psychological and some physical,” says Dr Tomlinson. “Psychological issues tend to affect younger men, such as first night nerves and so on. Often, these problems don’t persist. But there can be more serious psychological problems about sex that need the help of a psychosexual therapist.”
Worries about work, money, your relationship, family, and even worrying about not getting an erection, can all be factors.
Physical reasons for erectile dysfunction include:
Medical conditions, such as:

• heart disease
• diabetes
• raised blood pressure  
• raised cholesterol: this can lead to clogging of arteries, including the arteries in the penis, which are very narrow (1-2mm in diameter compared with around 10mm in the heart artery) 
• low testosterone: testosterone levels fall as men get older, but not all men are affected by it. Those who are affected will have symptoms such as feeling tired and unfit, and loss of interest in (and inability to have) sex.

Drugs

• some prescription drugs: these can include medicines (such as beta-blockers) used to treat raised blood pressure, and antidepressants, antipsychotic drugs and anticonvulsant drugs
• alcohol 
• recreational drugs such as cannabis and cocaine 
• smoking: nicotine affects the blood supply to the areas of the penis that cause erections 

What should I do if I have erectile dysfunction?

See your GP. He or she can give you a physical examination and carry out blood tests to identify the cause.
Erectile dysfunction can be an important signal to other issues. “It's associated with raised cholesterol, diabetes and raised blood pressure. Any of these can be a warning of future heart disease,” says Dr Tomlinson. Your doctor can ensure that you get the treatment you need.

What's the treatment?

First, adjust any lifestyle factors that might be causing your problem.
“If you stop smoking, drinking too much or using recreational drugs, the problem should eventually go away. But it can take months,” says Dr Tomlinson. “There is no overnight cure.”
If you're prescribed blood pressure tablets or antidepressants, your doctor may be able to put you on a different kind.
Low testosterone can be treated with hormone replacement therapy, which should resolve erectile dysfunction as long as it's used together with erection-helping drugs. Other conditions, such as diabetes and high blood pressure, can be treated, which may improve erections. The Sexual Advice Association has useful factsheets on all of this.
Some men benefit from psychosexual therapy, which is a form of relationship therapy where you and your partner can discuss any sexual or emotional issues or concerns. You can contact the Sexual Advice Association, Relate, sexual health charity FPA or your GP to ask about psychosexual therapy.

Support
For help with cutting down on drinking, drug use or smoking, contact:

Premature ejaculation

This is when a man ejaculates (comes) sooner than he wants to during sex. It's only a problem if it bothers him or his partner.
You can see your GP or a psychosexual therapist for help.

What causes premature ejaculation?

"Either just being very excited with a new partner, or an acute sensitivity of the local nervous system, which triggers orgasm too suddenly," says Dr Tomlinson.
It can also be linked to anxiety about sexual performance, stress, unresolved issues in a relationship, or depression.

What should I do if I have premature ejaculation?

See your GP, or a psychosexual therapist. A therapist can teach you techniques to try to delay ejaculation.

Male sexual problems

It’s estimated that one man in 10 has a problem related to having sex, such as premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Dr John Tomlinson of The Sexual Advice Association explains some of the causes, and where to seek help. 

“Sexual dysfunction in a man is when he's not able to perform properly,” says Dr Tomlinson. “The main problem is being unable to get an erection. It’s much more common than people realise. In the 20-40 age group it affects around 7-8% of men, in the 40-50 age group it affects 11%. In the over-60s it affects 40%, and more than half of men over 70.”
It can affect any man, whether he is straight, gay, bisexual or transgender. Read more about erectile dysfunction (impotence) and premature ejaculation.

Erectile dysfunction (impotence)

This is when a man can’t get, or keep, an erection. Most men experience it at some time in their life. “It only becomes a problem when the man or his partner considers it a problem,” says Dr Tomlinson. 

What causes erectile dysfunction?

“A variety of things cause it. Some psychological and some physical,” says Dr Tomlinson. “Psychological issues tend to affect younger men, such as first night nerves and so on. Often, these problems don’t persist. But there can be more serious psychological problems about sex that need the help of a psychosexual therapist.”
Worries about work, money, your relationship, family, and even worrying about not getting an erection, can all be factors.
Physical reasons for erectile dysfunction include:
Medical conditions, such as:

• heart disease
• diabetes
• raised blood pressure  
• raised cholesterol: this can lead to clogging of arteries, including the arteries in the penis, which are very narrow (1-2mm in diameter compared with around 10mm in the heart artery) 
• low testosterone: testosterone levels fall as men get older, but not all men are affected by it. Those who are affected will have symptoms such as feeling tired and unfit, and loss of interest in (and inability to have) sex.

Drugs

• some prescription drugs: these can include medicines (such as beta-blockers) used to treat raised blood pressure, and antidepressants, antipsychotic drugs and anticonvulsant drugs
• alcohol 
• recreational drugs such as cannabis and cocaine 
• smoking: nicotine affects the blood supply to the areas of the penis that cause erections 

What should I do if I have erectile dysfunction?

See your GP. He or she can give you a physical examination and carry out blood tests to identify the cause.
Erectile dysfunction can be an important signal to other issues. “It's associated with raised cholesterol, diabetes and raised blood pressure. Any of these can be a warning of future heart disease,” says Dr Tomlinson. Your doctor can ensure that you get the treatment you need.

What's the treatment?

First, adjust any lifestyle factors that might be causing your problem.
“If you stop smoking, drinking too much or using recreational drugs, the problem should eventually go away. But it can take months,” says Dr Tomlinson. “There is no overnight cure.”
If you're prescribed blood pressure tablets or antidepressants, your doctor may be able to put you on a different kind.
Low testosterone can be treated with hormone replacement therapy, which should resolve erectile dysfunction as long as it's used together with erection-helping drugs. Other conditions, such as diabetes and high blood pressure, can be treated, which may improve erections. The Sexual Advice Association has useful factsheets on all of this.
Some men benefit from psychosexual therapy, which is a form of relationship therapy where you and your partner can discuss any sexual or emotional issues or concerns. You can contact the Sexual Advice Association, Relate, sexual health charity FPA or your GP to ask about psychosexual therapy.

Support
For help with cutting down on drinking, drug use or smoking, contact:

Premature ejaculation

This is when a man ejaculates (comes) sooner than he wants to during sex. It's only a problem if it bothers him or his partner.
You can see your GP or a psychosexual therapist for help.

What causes premature ejaculation?

"Either just being very excited with a new partner, or an acute sensitivity of the local nervous system, which triggers orgasm too suddenly," says Dr Tomlinson.
It can also be linked to anxiety about sexual performance, stress, unresolved issues in a relationship, or depression.

What should I do if I have premature ejaculation?

See your GP, or a psychosexual therapist. A therapist can teach you techniques to try to delay ejaculation.